'Glee' recap: Sue vs. Schue cockfight!
Glee has definitely had a biting wit in each episode, but ''Throwdown'' upped that to guffaw level. Sue Sylvester (played by the brilliant Jane Lynch) may be the sharpest-tongued character on network TV. With her co-running glee club this week, it was a riotous Suefest, which was some welcome light relief after last week's adoption planning and that horrible Ken/Emma engagement (they were MIA this week). There were too many laugh-out-loud lines for me to even recap (or is that Gleecap?) most of them.
''Throwdown'' opened with Sue and Will screaming at each other — as Will points out, ''We're even fighting in our voice-over.'' Sue thinks rage is her best look: ''Look at me, even in the heat of battle, I am so elegant, regal. I am Ajax, mighty Greek warrior. God it feels so good to pop that zit Will Schuester.''
But then we jumped back a week to see the genesis of the epic Sue-Schue battle. Principal Figgins reminded our co-chairs not to curry favor with the glee clubbers, nor to pit the kids against each other. The teachers create a fake love-fest for Figgins, but then he says: ''Let's hug it out. This meeting doesn't end until I see your bodies touching.'' Sue and Schue join into a reluctant hug, whispering (Will) ''I will destroy you''/(Sue) ''I am about to vomit down your back.''
Of course, those banned strategies were immediately employed. Will tried to win over the club by asking what their desires are. Mercedes asked: ''Can we maybe try something a little more black?'' Kurt was with her: ''I agree we do an awful lot of show tunes,'' but Rachel smacked it down with ''It's glee club not crunk club.'' Poor Mike just wants to pop and lock.
So Sue's mole Quinn reported back that the minority kids in glee club feel like they aren't being heard, and Sue had her ''chink in the armor.'' As Sue told Quinn: ''I am going to create an environment so toxic no one will want to be part of that club. Like the time I sold my house to a nice young couple and salted the earth in the backyard so that nothing could grow there for 100 years. Know why I did that? Because they tried to get me to pay their closing costs.'' Give these writers an Emmy already.
Sue's strategy became divide and conquer. She created what she dubbed a ''special elite glee club called Sue's Kids.'' Her roll call was anyone remotely qualifying as a minority: ''Santana. Wheels. Gay Kid. Asian. Other Asian. Aretha. Shaft.''
And then she ditched the show tunes and let her crew let loose on a horn-heavy rendition of Jill Scott's 'Hate On Me.' And it was great to see soulful Mercedes (hey, maybe that Aretha comment was right!) get a place in the spotlight where she belongs. And wheelchair-bound Artie got to move a chairs for Kurt to scissor-kick on! And neglected Mike got to pop-and-lock his heart out.
NEXT: Panty raid