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ONE PURR-FECT FAMILY Sam has found a Lady for Lord Tubbington.
Before we can move on with events, however, we have some relationship drama to catch up on. This week, the I’m Glad I’m Not In High School Anymore Moment came to us from Ryder. Ryder is still convinced the “perfect girl” he’s been conversing with online is real. So when he sees a cute blonde in the hallway, he’s sure it’s the Katie from his dreams. Instead, it’s just a random girl named Marissa -- but Ryder doesn’t find that out until he leads her into the choir room Troy Bolton-style and performs one of the sweetest songs on record, Elton John’s "Your Song."(Just because we need some levity, here’s Elton performing the tune in 2010 with Lady Gaga at the Grammys!) Marissa was flattered, but informed Ryder she wasn’t the mystery girl, even though the photo he has is of her. Catfishing! Ryder realizes that it may be a hoax, freaks out, and assumes Marley and/or Jake are behind the prank. They assure him they’re not responsible, but Ryder can’t figure out who else would do something like that. (Hmm, maybe the girl you were really mean to?)
But the relationship issues weren’t just limited to students. Coach Beiste, a.k.a Shannon, invites Will to have a nice Italian dinner a la Lady and the Tramp with her in the locker room. (Romance?) Many viewers must have smelled trouble right away, but Will couldn't smell anything over the locker room stench, so Shannon's nervous confession that she had a crush on him caught him off-guard. Pro tip: If you’re going to do a big declaration, definitely make sure you do a quick Facebook "Relationship Status" check. Shannon didn’t, which meant Will had to awkwardly explain to her that he and Emma were back together. He was very nice about the whole thing, but it was clearly uncomfortable for everyone.
In an effort to move past the awkwardness, Will had Shannon come to a special "The World Isn’t Ending" Glee practice that Schu decided to have once Brittany told everyone the meteor wasn’t real. Mr. Schuester even said he would rap, which he presented like a treat as opposed to a threat. Unfortunately, Schu's rapping wasn't the only threat.
Shortly into practice, they all hear two gunshots from somewhere outside the room and are instantly upset. Will follows the procedures and turns out the lights while all the kids (save for Brittany, in the bathroom, and Tina, who was outside) hide. The following five minutes of television were easily the most intense Glee has ever been as the students crouch down on the floor and begin to cry. Will and Shannon attempt to keep everyone calm and quiet, but there is a lot of drama: Sam unsuccessfully attempts to leave to rescue Brittany, Kitty begins confessing her Mean Girls crimes to Marley, and Artie chillingly films the gang's goodbye messages on his video camera until Sam turns the camera off. Ryder attempts to call Marissa, but the phone rings in the room -- meaning his mystery girl is a member of the Glee club.
NEXT: Who was responsible?