HOLD THE PHONE: I was told explicitly that we were done with Lima. Why are Will and Sue doing a walk-and-talk through the halls of McKinley right now? And I guess Will didn’t leave after the Glee Club disbanded, after all. Post-Glee, it seems he’s simply a non-singing history teacher with a very pregnant wife who can no longer fly. (I know I’ve proven I can’t handle this timeline, but I think that the nine months math actually almost works out -- right?) Sue requests to take the extra plane ticket off Will's hands; apparently she used her local news segment to talk a lot of mad trash about New York City even though she's never been, and shockingly, got a bit of negative feedback. She was just "taking [her] cue from cable news lately and just lying a lot," but now that viewers have called her out on it, she wants to actually visit the Big Apple to try and redeem her credibility. To be fair, New York is kind of shaped like a dog, I guess, and it does occasionally smell like hot pee; but only if you squint, and when it rains, respectively. (Update: A commenter helpfully corrected that Sue said New York is shaped like a "dong"...yes, that seems much more accurate.)
Will says he’ll give Sue the ticket if she agrees to come to Rachel’s play with him, and before you know it, Sue’s newfound New York excitement turns into those two knuckleheads singing "N.Y.C." from Annie inside a snow globe. It’s set up like a cute little stage production of painted New York City backdrops, kind of like what a high school show would actually look like if Will hadn’t been spending April Rhodes’ millions on Katy Perry sets. They exit on the painted subway stop and re-enter from the bona fide A/B/C line in the middle of Manhattan. Sue, with a look of genuine wonderment and joy on her face: "This place smells like barf!" B+
Tina has arrived in New York to see Rachel’s opening night and I’m reminded that a little bit of Tina being the worst is hilarious. (I think we all remember what a lot of Tina being the worst is like.) While Rachel is resting her voice, defenseless against Tina’s general Cohen-Chang-ness, Tina can’t stop rattling on to the group gathered in the Brooklyn Loft of Wonders: questioning why their other friends aren’t there, talking about how she’s only seen a few negative blog reviews. All the while, it’s clear Rachel isn’t prepared to handle so much as a "why that gurl so short lookin" on a personal Tumblr. She assures them that she’s fine and heads off to bed, but Kurt wakes up in the middle of the night to find Rachel reading every negative comment she can find on the Funny Girl previews.
Kurt calls in reinforcements and everyone returns to try to force-feed Rachel tea and play soothing guitar; "someone" even tries to fake a gift basket from Barbra Streisand, but signs her name with two A’s. "Who wrote this, TINA?!" Dammit, Tina! The criticism has completely shot Rachel’s confidence. She's at her lowest low, so luckily, Sue shows up at the Brooklyn Apartment Ballroom to announce that Will was trying to perv on her with only one bed in their hotel room, so she’ll be staying with them, her former students with whom she has not stayed in touch and whose address she'd have no way of knowing. Oh wait, no, that’s not lucky, that’s damn ridiculous. But not as ridiculous as it gets, so put a pin in that for now.
NEXT: Guess who's back...back again?