I unfortunately knew who was going to win prom king and queen tonight. (Thanks a lot, spoiler-tweeting Glee extra.) But in retrospect, the election of Kurt and Karofsky to prom court (queen and king, respectively) was really the least important of the surprises and developments on last night's Glee. So let's get with the recapping, lest all of our grannies drown in a punch bowl of impatience.
We started this week with a meeting between Figgins, Sue (in a dashing hot pink track suit!), and Mr. Schuester, with the principal breaking the news that Air Supply had canceled on William McKinley and would no longer be performing at their prom. (Was anyone else genuinely disappointed by this revelation?) So he enlisted the help of Schu and his Gleeks, who would serve as prom entertainment and earn themselves a generous payment. This was, thankfully, one of the few times we'd see Schu in the episode, and I gather that's because he wanted some alone time with the I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Sue gave him. We know he has a thing for substitutes, after all.
Elsewhere, prom fever was rampant -- except among the poor, the dateless, and the desperate. Luckily, Sam, Mercedes, and Rachel banded together to make a Sister Wives-esque arrangement: Sam would take them both to prom! It was honestly the best idea Rachel had had since she decided to stop wearing farm animals on her sweaters. (Unless I missed a stray pony cardigan somewhere…) Their arrangement turned into more of a double date, however, upon the reappearance of Jesse St. James. [Insert gleeful squeals here.] I should note, however, that while I'm a huge fan of Jonathan Groff, I do not in any way like Jesse St. James. I like the Jesse effect -- because he brings out a rather testosterone-filled Finn -- but I don't like Jesse. (We'll get back to him in a minute.)
Meanwhile, Blaine Warbler (I love that they brought this name up again) was also suffering from some prom blues -- and for good reason. He revealed to Kurt, who had been disappointed by Blaine's lack of excitement at the idea of accompanying him to prom, that he had previously attempted to go to a Sadie Hawkins dance with a boy at his old school. But he and his date ended up getting beaten up by bully bigots. I know this was meant to be a sad story, but it mostly made my blood boil in anger. Eventually, Blaine agreed to go to prom after Kurt convinced him that he needed to stand up to his past.
There was a neat -- albeit slightly deceiving -- parallel going on here. While Kurt was encouraging Blaine to move on, he found himself face-to-face with a piece of his own dark past during his interaction with Karofsky, who with Santana was escorting Kurt to and from classes as part of the Bully Whips -- and Santana's Eva Perón-inspired prom-queen platform. A few episodes back we saw a less-than-sincere apology from Karofsky for harassing Kurt, but this week we watched him truly realize the gravity of the torture he'd put Kurt through. And there were tears involved, people. Real ones. In my mind (since, as I mentioned before, I knew the outcome of the prom voting), I had set up this great situation resulting from such an important moment: They'd both win, Kurt would own the moment, they'd have a nice, peaceful resolution, etc. Happy, happy, happy. The show's named Glee after all, right? Wrong!
NEXT: Save the drama for your prom-a