The reason Hannah forced herself to pretend-feel at the end? It's not good for writers not to feel, she reminds Caroline after the two discuss the numbing feeling produced by anti-psychotic medication. I suspect Hannah's even more scared of losing her last remaining champion in Adam. (Marnie and Shoshanna don't count, and Jessa's operating on another dimension at the moment, somewhere within countless planes of consciousness, and what is a normal day, really?)
"Adam's gonna find out what I really am -- and I don't know if he's gonna like that," she confided to Caroline after the pair, plus Laird and his dead turtle, had traipsed through a cemetery as if it were their personal playground, blissfully oblivious to the actual grievers surrounding them. "He's not gonna wanna be with someone who can't match his strength of emotion."
Well, if that's true, then Hannah and Adam shouldn't be together. If he can learn over time and through honest communication to accept her emotional vacancy even if he doesn't understand it, then great -- different story. He ain't no saint, either. As someone who's usually so fiercely loyal to her sense of self, Hannah could at least give the truth a shot.
One final note on Hannah is that I really liked the honesty of another thing she shared with Caroline: "When I was doing so badly, I couldn't see outside myself -- but now that I can, I don't know if it's any better." That just about sums up one's early 20s, any period of tentative self-discovery, LIFE in general, etc. It's lines like this, spurts of raw, simply articulated uncertainty, that keep me watching. Plus I just really like horror shows, I guess.
"Just because it's fake doesn't mean I don't feel it," blubbered Laird. Exactly! And I bet his turtle felt the pain of being stuffed into a POM juice bottle, though how could that even happen?
Meanwhile, Jessa's friend Season (Fruitvale Station's Melonie Diaz) pretended to choke on her own vomit and die, just so she could stop hanging out with Jessa. The best part of this diversion was Season's cool-looking husband, who wasn't sure if he needed to pretend his wife was a ghost. I loved that guy. "None of this is gonna work out for you, by the way," Jessa just had to throw in, a final fingernail in the nonexistent coffin of free-flowing and timeless consciousness as she swished out the door. But what is a normal exit, though, really? #∞
NEXT: Marnie's juicing now, plus the episode's best lines and most overwritten line