Game of Thrones recap: Hand of the Kingslayer

A shocking twist changes one character forever in "Walk of Punishment"
Ep. 03 | Aired Apr 14, 2013

BOUND FOR TROUBLE Jaime Lannister (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) is disarmed and vulnerable.

HBO

Dany's advisors have a debate about whether to buy the slave army.

"We can find soldiers in Pentos," says Ser Barristan the Bold.

"Is it 'we' already?" replies Ser Jorah the Easily Threatened.

Jorah argues for the Unsullied -- they're not men, they won't rape and pillage and lose control. "There's a beast in every man and it stirs when you put a sword in his hands," he intones. Ser Barristan argues against him, saying Dany needs men with true passion for their leader, not mindless slaves.

Later, Dany haggles with the slave master Kraznys. I really like her confidence in this scene. She wants all 8,000 unsullied AND the ones in training (pre baby-killing, presumably). "I will have all or take none," she says, while we continue to have fun with subtitles as the slaver's awesome translator spins phrases like "because I like the curve of her ass" into "because master is generous."

Dany's problem: Not enough money. So she says: "I have dragons. I'll give you one."

That gets Kraznys' attention. He actually looks her in the eye and attempts to speak her language. They barter: "Three." "One." "Two." "One." Sold to the sleazy slaver!

Ser Barristan and Ser Jorah are incensed. "You'll win the throne with dragons, not slaves!" Dany gives them a look -- shuuuuut uuuup! Really, though, their protests can only help seal the deal -- my manager is crazy, she's practically giving you this shiny new dragon for free. Dany wants the slaver to give her the sexy translator too, which to Krazny is just like throwing in a couple free oil changes.

Outside, Dany scolds her advisers for protesting her decision in front of the slaver. This is her Vito Corleone moment ("Never tell anyone outside the family what you're thinking"). Then she grills the translator about the Unsullied. Will they be as loyal to their new master as the slaver claimed? Dany also wants to make sure the translator really wants to join her team. She might go hungry, she might be killed, but hanging out with Dany is a major upgrade from serving Kraznys.

King's Landing: After last week's nudity-free hour, Thrones invents a reason for us to visit the brothel -- that's where Littlefinger keeps his financial ledgers, you see. Tyrion and Littlefinger have a casual chat about Tyrion taking over the Master of Coin ("Keep a low profile" Littlefinger snarks).

Tyrion decides to pay back his squire, Podrick, for saving his life last season by giving the boy his favorite kind of gift -- whores galore! Podrick is taken to a room where prostitutes pop out of the walls when their names are spoken aloud. One of the girls can even perform a "Meereenese Knot" (that's apparently Thrones-speak for what yoga practitioners call a version of the King Pigeon Pose; If any yoga teachers are reading this, try using "Meereenese Knot" in class, it sounds cooler anyway). Podrick wasn't expecting this gift and I can't help but wonder: Wouldn't the brothel offer him a bath first? The presumed lack of hygiene in this fantasy world grosses me out. "Pace yourself lad," Bronn advises helpfully.

Later, Podrick mystifies Tyrion and Bronn by revealing the girls had such a great time with him that they refused to take his money. The men want all the details, wondering if they have a Dirk Diggler in their midst.

NEXT: A farewell to arms

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