The Eyrie: It's snowing! For Sansa, it's like being home again -- except almost all her family are dead, and she's held captive by her mom's scheming, horny suitor, her crazy aunt, and her aunt's even crazier kid. She builds a rather competent snow model of "Winterhell" without getting any snow on herself and is interrupted by young Robin. She gamely tries to play with him, but Robin is only interested in making people fly and breaking toys. When he stomps all over her home, Sansa slaps him -- which surprises us even more than it does him. Robin runs off, and we learn Littlefinger was secretly watching. Of course he was. He probably watches Sansa sleep through a secret spy-hole.
Sansa finally grows a pair of fourth-season balls and demands to know why Littlefinger killed Joffrey. This is growth for Sansa. She hasn't been bold enough to demand anything since her ordeal began, except perhaps for the occasional second helping of lemon cakes. Littlefinger explains that he thought Sansa's mom was really hot, and if she had agreed to sleep with him all those years ago then Sansa could be his daughter. But since her mom didn't have sex with him, it's actually cool that she's not his daughter, because now he finds her even hotter than he did her mom. This is just about the creepiest way the man could have possibly expressed all this. Littlefinger says, "Call me Petyr," then kisses Sansa. Viewers collectively go "Eewwwwww!"
Later, Lysa demands to see Sansa, and the Moon Door is wiiiiiiiide open. We've had a lot of Moon Door shots and references this season, and you know Chekhov's gun rule of storytelling, right? If we see a loaded rifle in the first act, that weapon must eventually be used.
Turns out Lysa secretly saw
Littlefinger Petyr kiss Sansa. Apparently, nobody has anything to do in The Eyrie but spy on that courtyard. She grabs Sansa and threatens to throw her out the Moon Door. Littlefinger comes to her rescue and calms down Lysa. He gets all close to her and assures that he'll send Sansa away.
"I have only loved one woman. Only one my entire life," he tells her gently, then adds: "Your sister." Litttlefinger waits a moment to give Lysa time to understand what he said, then gives her a hearty shove right through the trapdoor -- quite literally dumping her -- and she plummets, brokenhearted, to her death.
We don't feel bad about this, though the prospect of Sansa being left alone with Litttlefinger is worrisome. (We're going back to calling him Littlefinger. I get annoyed typing his first name, as if he's a suburban girl named something like Alyce, Gennifer, Catie or Jayne -- "Oh, I'm so cool! I use a different letter!")
And again, more props to Martin for his clever plotting. The groundwork for this moment between Sansa and Littlefinger was being laid right from that first jousting tournament -- which was early in the show's first season -- when Littlefinger sat next to young Sansa and chatted her up. Likewise, Jaime losing his hand last season -- that was such a pivotal turning point in his character's journey, but this week we see how it also served a whole other purpose: Jaime can't volunteer to save Tyrion.
If you missed it the first time around, be sure to check out my story on the casting of Pascal as Oberyn, where the showrunners talk about the above scene.
So now in next week's episode --
Wait! There is no episode next week. Game of Thrones skips Memorial Day weekend once again this year, so we'll have to wait two weeks. Then we get the final three episodes of Thrones, and I've been hearing each episode is huge.
Minor spoiler alert for the broad strokes of what's to come this season: In eight, we see Prince Oberyn fight The Mountain, which I hear is a rather amazing fight sequence. In nine, we get the biggest staged battle in the show's history -- Mance Rayder's forces finally reaching The Wall (expect pretty much the whole episode to be devoted to that). And in the finale ... you know, in previous seasons, the finale has been considered somewhat anticlimactic after major plot twists the penultimate hours (Ned Stark's execution, the Battle of the Blackwater and The Red Wedding). This season, I'm told episode ten truly rivals nine, and I'm not telling you anything about it, because the less you know the better.
I will see you again in two weeks. Let's make a pact that we will spend this time well. Because maybe Arya is right, and nothing is nothing. But something is always better than nothing, right?