Suddenly we're startled when a refugee from another cable network drama leaps his back and takes a bite out of his neck, while his companion stands nearby doing nothing. These guys are trying to cash in on the bounty put on The Hound. But wait, wait, wait: These guys see The Hound. They actually manage to sneak up behind him. And this is their best plan?
The Hound kills his attacker, and Arya quickly dispatches his companion -- right in the heart, like he just showed her. "You're learning," The Hound says approvingly.
Later, Arya wants to sterilize The Hound's wound with a burning branch. But his no-fire-near-face policy is absolute even if it means risking infection. In terms of mortality rates, I suspect infection in Westeros is an even greater cause of death than heart disease, cancer and being a Stark combined.
Elsewhere: Brienne and Podrick have a pleasant meal. Finally, a tavern scene where nobody is abused or murdered or arrested. Their server is --
Hot Pie! At first I'm worried, because Hot Pie escaped this story with all his limbs last season. My initial assumption is the Thrones gods have returned him so something awful can happen to him -- getting baked in one of his ovens or raped with a rolling pin or something. Nobody gets off that easy in this tale. But Hot Pie simply babbles about his hot pies.
Brienne asks Hot Pie if he's seen Sansa Stark. Podrick hesitates to suggest that they not trust outsiders with their mission, but is worried about offending her. ("You're not interesting enough to be offensive," she assures him, which is my favorite line this hour.) Hot Pie reveals Arya is alive and on the road with The Hound. Brienne and Pod decide to make off for The Eyrie, figuring, quite rightly, the Stark daughters could be headed there. And once again, Hot Pie escapes unscathed.
Castle Black: Jon returns triumphant to Castle Black after his heroic mission against high odds. And what reaction does he get from his bosses? Cold looks and insults. You just want him to yell: "What do I have to do to impress you people?!" Next, Jon proposes sealing off the tunnel that runs under The Wall with ice to thwart the advancing Wildling army. Alliser Thorne shoots this down because it's a good idea, and he hates those. I suppose you cannot expect the Night's Watch, full of people who either volunteered for this miserable life or committed some horrible crime, to actually make wise decisions. The whole setup is a terrible way to defend a realm against its greatest threat, like putting death row inmates and the cast of Celebrity Apprentice in charge of NORAD.
NEXT: Dany orders Daario to show his dragon