BATH OF THE TITANS: Jon Snow (Kit Harington) and Ygritte (Rose Leslie) search the chilly wasteland for a place to properly hookup.
She strips. "You swore some vows; I want you to break them." Jon is all conflicted. God knows why. I guess it's because he vowed celibacy and he doesn't want to risk having a bastard kid. But if he turns her down, she'll know for sure he's still a Crow. Jaime famously said, "The things I do for love." For Jon, it's the things he does for duty.
Ygritte fulfills a fantasy of some Jon Snow fans by running her hands through his bushy hair. Then she delivers her catchphrase: "You know nothing, Jon Snow" -- as he dives into her Wildling patch. Clearly, Jon Snow does indeed know a thing or two. Though presumably not as much as Podrick.
Afterward Jon is ... what is that on his face? It's so weird. Is that ... a smile? It is! Then Ygritte starts talking about all her ex-lovers and Jon gets irritated pretty quick for somebody who had to be talked into doing something with her just a few minutes ago. She notes that she's been deemed "kissed by fire," an affectionate Wildling term
for having herpes for having lucky red hair.
Then Ygritte asks Jon a question I'm often thinking while watching characters on Thrones: "How long has it been since you had a bath?"
She jumps into the steamy pool and he joins her. You'd think they would have done that before fooling around, but okay. "Let's not go back," she says. "I don't ever want to leave this cave, Jon Snow." It's a nice moment. I wonder if he's tempted to tell Ygritte to just call him by his first name, though. It's like being called "Jon Bastard" all the time, which can't help his comfort level with all this.
Harrenhal: Jaime and Brienne are brought to the home of one of Robb's bannermen, Roose Bolton. We're not really sure about this guy. He seems civil enough, then seems to sadistically enjoy letting Jaime twist in the wind on whether his sister is alive.
Jaime is taken to Qyburn, that sole survivor at Harrenhal that Robb discovered in the season premiere. We learn he was a maester but was stripped of his license (and massive clunky chain -- good riddance) for performing medical experiments that were "too bold." They debate how to handle Jaime's wound and he insists on having Qyburn treat him without any Milk of the Poppy (a term that one viewer wonderfully mistook in season 1 for "Milk of the Puppy"). Jaime comes across like he's being masochistic, but he simply doesn't trust Qyburn enough to allow himself to be sedated. Who knows how many limbs he'd wake up with.
King's Landing: It's like each cast member gets a one-on-one scene with Diana Rigg. This week it's Tyrion's turn as he wearily makes the case of the Tyrells helping pay for the royal wedding. The Queen of Thorns debates him into the floor, picking apart all of his arguments. Then agrees to pay for half the ceremony anyway, shocking him. She wanted to make it clear this is entirely voluntary and not out of any obligation. She also smacks him for failing to live up to his drunken debauched reputation and instead coming off like a "brow-beaten bookkeeper." But you can hardly blame Tyrion for not feeling passionate about an accounting job.
Rivverun: A disturbing sequence as the captive Lannister kids are awoken by a commotion outside -- it's Robb's grumpy-cat bannerman Karstark and some of his men. This scene is really effective because it's entirely shot from the kids' point of view; we're just as confused as they are. Karstark bursts in and kills them.
Later, Robb is furious. Also, he's rocking that leather jacket. Between the chest-baring jacket, curly hair and beard, the King in the North is just one gold medallion away from posing for a 1970s album cover. His mom Catelyn is wrapped up in an unflattering green bathrobe, though.
NEXT: Robb's wrath