Who knew Westeros had more hot tubs than Miami?
This week's Game of Thrones featured Jon Snow and Ygritte stripping for steamy hot spring sex and Jaime and Brienne emotionally baring themselves in a tub as the fantasy hit continued its third-season streak of gripping episodes. Last week's stunner was a very tough act to follow. Tonight there were a couple sluggish moments (they should just call the city Draggin' Stone), yet otherwise Thrones kept up its strong pace. So grab your rubber duckies and water wings, it's time for everybody to get into the pool for this week's recap.
Brotherhood Without Banners Hideout: We pick up with last week's Trial by Combat cliffhanger with Beric vs. The Hound. Beric rubs some blood on his sword and it catches fire. We're not exactly sure why this happens, but we're assuming it has something to do with Beric's tight relationship with his fire-obsessed god the Lord of Light. Besides, who cares why? It looks cool when they fight, and it's the closest in Thrones we're getting to a lightsaber.
Beric and The Hound duel. It's brutal and intense. Beric swings his massive flaming broadsword as The Hound recoils (he's terrified of fire ever since his face was burned off by his brother The Mountain). Sword fighting in a tight cave isn't the wisest idea and witnesses, including Arya, scamper out of the way to avoid getting skewered. The same thing happened during the Trial by Combat in the first season at the Eyrie; you'd think folks would know to give them more room. Beric knocks The Hound into downward dog on the floor. Arya shows raging blood lust, screaming, "Kill him!" But then The Hound delivers a killing blow, winning his freedom. Arya is pissed. She grabs a tiny knife and tries to kill The Hound herself, screaming, "Burn in hell!"
We've never seen Arya like this before. I suspect her anger is less about The Hound and the Butcher's Boy but wanting to get revenge on at least one name on her Death Wish List.
Beric's priest Thoros rushes to Beric and says some prayer and he pops up again -- alive.
Wildling Camp: Tormund Giantsbane is grilling Jon Snow about The Wall's defenses. We learn there are 19 strongholds defending The Wall, but only three are still guarded. He reluctantly gives up intel, though we're pretty sure he's lying about Castle Black having 1,000 men. Jon is warned, yet again, that if he's deceiving the Wildlings he's a dead man.
Then Ygritte somehow magically swipes Jon's massive sword out of his scabbard like it's a pen from his pocket. She runs into the local make-out cave, which is somehow well-lit and has a hot spring. You'd think there would be a line to use this place.
NEXT: Hot springs eternal