Game of Thrones recap: Blue is the Coldest Color

The White Walkers return in a swords-and-sorcery packed hour that would make Tolkien proud (except for maybe that one scene).
Ep. 04 | Aired Apr 27, 2014

STRONG AS OATH: Brienne holds down the ground with her mighty moral compass on 'Game of Thrones'

Castle Black: Jon Snow is training the men, then interrupted by Ser Alliser Thorne. Last week, these two had a brief moment of agreement -- but now Thorne is back to his Severus Snape-like hatred for the highborn bastard.

Janos Slynt slyly suggests sending Jon on his proposed mission to Craster's, saying his likely demise will rid Throne of a threat to his command. Slynt is like one of those dumb Survivor players who wants to vote out the strongest contestants right at the start of the game. There's a battle coming, with plenty of opportunities to die. Maybe wait for that to be over before you actively try to kill members of the group protecting you from the Wildlings.

Meanwhile, Jon meets a new recruit: Locke, or "that guy who chopped off Jaime's hand" for all those trying to keep up at home. He was sent North by Roose Bolton to find and kill Bran, so naturally he volunteers for Jon's expedition. The sequence also gives Jon an opportunity to make his first Big Speech.

King's Landing: Cersei is drinking, drinking, drinking. She really wants Jaime to kill somebody. Tyrion, say. Or if not him, how about Sansa? If you're not taking names off Cersei's enemies list, she has no use for you. Jaime tells his sister their brother didn't kill their son, but she doesn't want to hear that. You just want to say to Cersei here: Don't you realize that if you're wrong, the real killer of your son gets away with it?! She dismisses him formally, super cold. Jaime looks hurt by her frostiness, but he really should realize that raping somebody can have that effect.

Later, young King Tommen lays in his royal bed. He hears something. In strolls Lady Wet Dream of Highgarden. Tommen looks somewhat terrified by a vision of gorgeous Margaery in a silky dress and cooing candlelight. She means him no harm, of course, but I gotta say that my opinion of the Kingsguard is really plummeting this season.

She sits on his bed and launches Operation Quasi-Paternal 7th Grader Seduction, working her finely tuned charms on his impressionable mind. Tommen, by the by, is roughly 13 years old on the show; his exact age has never been specified, and characters on the show are generally older than in the books. Also, as one HBO publicist smartly pointed out, the notion of "years" and "time" is not exactly comparable with our world since in Westeros, the summers and winters last for years. Still: This kid is way too young to bang Natalie Dormer.

NEXT: Jaime's gift

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