Game of Thrones recap: The Hangover

Missing dragons, horny Wildings, escaped hostages and reckless assassinations keep Thrones characters busy
Ep. 07 | Aired May 13, 2012

"Did you take the dragons?!"

Oh no, what just happened? I had sex with a Wildling. Or maybe I just tied her up. Or I lost my dragons, or I had somebody killed, or have just become fertile. There's a slew of game-changing events that went down at the end of last week's Game of Thrones that our beloved characters are having to deal with the day-after consequences. It's like a life-and-death hangover as we break down "A Man Without Honor."

Winterfell: Theon wakes to find his lover gone, which can't be a new experience for him. But his valuable hostages Bran and Rickon Stark are missing too, and that's plenty embarrassing. He's furious. How dare they escape? He was the Stark's hostage for years and never ran away!

"You let a halfwit escape with a cripple!" he rages to his guard. And when a subordinate displays some insubordination by pointing out Theon aided their escape too by freeing Osha, Theon flies into a rage and kicks the hell out of him.

Theon orders up some horses and hounds to hunt down the kids. "If I find them soon enough, I wont hurt them," Theon assures Maester Luwin, then amends: "I'll hurt them, I won't kill them."

Despite this turn of events, Theon is in high spirits. He's confident he'll find the Stark kids, and then his sister will send some reinforcements so he can hold Winterfell against Robb Stark's men. "Ned Stark always said 500 men could hold Winterfell against 10,000," Theon says, though I'm unsure he really wants to bet his life on the optimistic opinions of Ned "Glass Half Full" Stark.

North of the Wall: Unlike Theon, Jon Snow wakes to find his Wildling right where he left her. Of course, he took the precaution of tying her up first. He realizes his hand is accidentally on her breast, and she says this hilarious line: "Did you pull a knife on me in the night?"

Ygritte enjoys teasing Jon about his barely suppressed desire while using Wildling genitalia terminology. She talks about Jon's "bone" and his sore "stones." She sounds like foul-mouthed character from The Flintstones.

NEXT: Arya matches wits with Tywin Lannister

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