Season 16 has been truly crazy in that each week, the right person has gone home. It's unheard of! Quite frankly it freaks me out!
Dapper Ingo Rademacher and Flapper Kym Johnson waltzed away from Planet Mirrorballus -- frame intact! -- on tonight's results show, which was also the 300th episode of Dancing With the Stars. Ohhhh. So that's where the best years of my life have gone -- disintegrated into the shimmery ether, never to be seen again. Oh well! Could be worse. I could be reporting liiiiiive from Earth instead. How awful!
As the lowest-scorer this week, Ingo completely expected his elimination. Truth be told, he thought he'd be outta there long ago. Sometimes he said "within the first two weeks," and once he said "on Week 4." Whatever! Making it to the semifinals was a surprise for the German-born, Australian-raised, Hawaiian-by-marriage soap star who looks absolutely fabulous in pink.
Ingo's ballroom legacy includes a few very decent dances, multiple memories of him lookin' hot in either pink or Just a Vest, and possibly the cutest kid to ever sit on the edge of the Rectagon: Peanut, the Tot-emacher. (Some of you have mentioned that in German, this nickname carries undertones of death. I still don't care! It's so good!)
Zendaya and Val Chmerkovskiy joined Ingo and Kym "in jeopardy" but were "not necessarily the bottom two."
Kellie Pickler and Derek Hough got the Len-core this week -- I noticed her opening dip-to-the-floor was even more oww-inspiring than Monday's, and instead of finishing the Argentine tango clutching Derek's leg from the side, she wrapped her entire body around it from behind. Meaningless details! I like 'em. Aly Raisman and Mark Ballas and Jacoby Jones and Karina Smirnoff will round out the Final Four. All deserving. Well done, America!
I had two favorite moments tonight -- that amazing group opener choreographed by Jason Gilkison, and the fiercely wind-blown "bedroom dance" (literally, this time) from season 16 breakout stars Gleb Savchenko and Sharna Burgess. I loved singer-songwriter Christina Grimmie's stirring cover of Drake's "Take Care," but what's more, I loved how the dancing never stopped for the sake of cutting away to the musical guest. Her rendition perfectly complemented the dance and it was just such a dynamic, balanced performance.
I was really FEELING SOME THINGS during this one, as Gleb and Sharna thrashed around, mirroring the white wind-plumped panels that were like the ghosts of their tense relationship (or maybe the ghosts of all of Gleb's past ponytails) catching up to them. That Sharna can really tell a story with her choreography. I'm so glad they're both here.
A whopping 300 episodes down the glittery boob tube and I'm somehow still aliiiiiiiive!
Just wanted to give you an alternate angle to the main recap photo. It's screengrabs like this that remind me why this often inexplicable, absurdly long-running show is so magical.
NEXT: The Top 7 moments of the results show