James Maslow and Peta Murgatroyd: 35/40 Cue the dreaded quickstep! James and Peta were doing a Grease-themed number that ended up being a bit of a So You Think You Can Dance reunion -- which I loved -- but not a whole lot more. Here's what I took away: Jumping is James' thing. He will now do it in every number. It will be over exaggerated and make him look powerful, and you WILL love it. Aside from that, his legs were a little stiff, and there was that one second where I thought he was going to drop Peta. You get negative points for making my heart stop (not in a good way), James!
Carrie Ann liked his athleticism but thought the footwork could've been sharper. Redfoo made this intellectual observation: "That was quick." Then, he made some sort of crabs analogy that turned into an inappropriate STD comment from Tom that made Bruno cry with laughter. Yes, guys! THIS is why we watch this show! More STD jokes, please! (I'm 100 percent serious.)
Len hated on James' technique, calling it more "Tears on My Pillow," and Bruno called James "John Astaire or Fred Travolta." Take from that whatever you want.
Also, is there anything better than the pre-commerical dancing? I just imagine a producer yelling, "Dance monkeys!" at everyone in the room. And this time, it was only made better by watching Val sort of try to hit on Erin when we came back from break.
But before we get back to the routines, this is where we take a quick break for the Macy's Stars of Dance performance, or as I like to call it, "The So You Think You Can Dance reunion where Samantha spends the entire time yelling people's names that she recognizes/misses." The important takeaway: We're halfway through the season! There's exhaustion and pressure and stuff, OK? And the way we combat that is with more dancing … and robots!
Danica McKellar and Valentin Chmerkovskiy: 36/40 In rehearsals for the cha cha, this was the first thing I wrote in my notes: "Umm I wouldn't call out the gold medalists, honey." I'm just sayin'. Another note to Danica: I would watch your word choice when you say Val "drills and drills me." This is America, and I'm not the only one with a dirty mind. (I'm not even the only one with a dirty mind in my living room right now.)
The dance itself was fun, but I could see the wheels turning in Danica's mind the whole time. That being said, her footwork was impressive. And the way she got that earring to fly out of her ear? Well done. Points for a shirtless Val as well.
Redfoo thought she put "love in the club," after which my roommate gave me this gem: "I think you should tally the number of complete sentences he says." Yeah, she's great. But back to the judges! Len thought it was the best dance of the night so far, and Bruno said something about a purring little kitten. And I have to give props to Val, who avoided the awkward conversation with Erin by braiding Danica's hair, the thing he does when he *gets nervous. Final thought: Val thanking Danica's boyfriend for understanding means they've totally had a fight, right? A shirtless one?!
*doesn't want to talk to Erin Andrews
Meryl Davis and Maksim Chmerkovskiy: 40/40 OK, stop it. These two are my favorite people on planet Earth, but only when they're paired together. Both of them were a little upset with their 9's last week -- perfectionists -- and Maks still couldn't shake that comment about phoning it in. Meryl took his hand, and the two of them had a chat about all their feels. Then this happened:
Maks: Don't even try to pep talk me. I'm pep talking you.
Meryl: We can pep talk each other.
And the fact that Meryl just gets Maks and the fact that all the man wants is someone to hold his hand?! Someone get me a tissue.
But with that moment over, there were no more tissues necessary, because that tango was badass. They were both out to prove they deserved a perfect score, and let me tell you, they proved it. They were feisty and sexy and all those twirls (that I don't know the technical term for?)? I have two words for you: Crushed it. And the judges agreed. Most notably, Redfoo, who said, "E.T. phone home." Know why? "Because that was out of this world." Yes, Tom. That was much better than his crab analogy.
NEXT: "It's Drew Carey, trick!"