Downton Abbey recap: The Whole Ghastly Business

Mr. Bates finds out what happened to Anna and Robert is not the worst anymore.
Ep. 04 | Aired Jan 26, 2014

SECRETS, SECRETS ARE NO FUN: Mr. Bates threatens to leave, forcing Mrs. Hughes to reveal that Anna was raped.

Nick Briggs/PBS

Not ranked ...

Baxter: I'm leaving Cora's new lady's maid off for now, because I can't tell. Everyone likes her downstairs; she does seem genuine. But Thomas got her the job, and that can't mean anything good.

Jack Ross: Last week, he was second. This week, he was not mentioned.

Evelyn Napier: Again, his motives are unclear. We'll wait on him, too.

19. Thomas: What is he planning?

18. Lord Gillingham: For moving on from Mary so fast.

17. Tom: Why does he want to leave? He has made a new, very good life for himself. And he should be with family.

16. Gregson: He hasn't contacted Edith. He's like every awful boyfriend who does the slow fade.

15. Bates: I'm breaking up Anna and Bates in these rankings. I wish he'd take his wife's feelings into consideration and let the matter drop. No good will come of whatever he is going to do.

14. Rose: Just because she doesn't have anything to do.

13. Mrs. Patmore: She doesn't want a refrigerator? Really?

12. Cora: Jury is still out on her taste in lady's maids.

11. Jimmy: He's so mean to Alfred!

10. Molesley: Dude should have taken the job when he could have.

9. Ivy and Daisy: They return to their cuteness this week.

8. Edith: Things don't look good for Edith.

7. Carson: I actually love his snobbishness here.

6. Robert: He's moved up a lot, because he was kind of awesome this week. Way to go, Robert.

5. Alfred: Look at him, doing well at the Ritz, even if he didn't make it.

4. Mary: She looks good. She's back to life. She still shouldn't have turned Tony down.

3. Anna: Poor thing.

2. Isobel: I enjoy watching her and Violet spar.

1. Violet: See above. But the Countess always wins.

And the Dowager Countess' best lines:

I wonder your halo doesn't grow heavy. It must be like wearing a tiara 'round the clock.

Robert: If we don't respect the past, we'll find it harder to build our future.
Violet: Where did you read that?
Robert: I made it up. I thought it was rather good.
Violet: It's too good. One thing we don't want is a poet in the family.
Isobel: Would it be so bad?
Violet: The only poet-peer I'm familiar with is Lord Byron and I presume we all know how that ended.

Wars have been waged with less fervor.

To Isobel: Nobody cares about anything as much as you do.

That is not at all what I asked.

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