Dexter recap: Confessions of a Kill-aholic

Dex races to prevent Deb from confessing to murder as Quinn seems like a lousy student
Ep. 03 | Aired Jul 14, 2013

YOU DIDN'T HIRE ME FOR MY BREATH, RIGHT? Elway (Sean Patrick Flanery) is frustrated with Deb (Jennifer Carpenter).

Vogel shows the boxes to Dexter, who's getting to work on her list of former patients, trying to eliminate suspects. Suddenly Quinn strolls over and calls to Dexter.

Wait, so those boxes she's sneakily showing Dexter are laying on the ground while the rest of Miami Metro are 30 feet away at a crime scene? What if one of them walked up and said, "What the hell is that?" Then again, the Morgan siblings seem pretty much incapable of arousing the suspicion of Miami Metro these days, so what's a few pieces of brain on the ground?

Meanwhile Deb's P.I. boss Elway (wait, his first name is Jake -- a nod to Chinatown?) is giving her more of that creepy home-made supplement drink. Half expect him to ask her to wear a necklace amulet containing Tannis Root too. They agree to help a woman find out if her husband is cheating. Doesn't she ever watch Cheaters? If you suspect he's cheating he always is! And since this is an episode dealing with addiction and confessions, I'll confess this: Many years ago, I went on a Cheaters binge, even watching the NSFW DVD. Yes, I now know it's all faked. But as Deb tells the client, "the truth is overrated."

As on Cheaters, the husband makes it really easy for them to prove his infidelity, having sex in a parked car. Elway once again wants to know if Deb is having sex with somebody, this time Quinn. We know Elway is kinda off, but we're not sure what his deal is yet. He better be careful, at the rate she's going, Deb might kill him for a sandwich.

Dex checks out a brain surgeon suspect at a mall. He sells sporting goods, which gives Dex a chance to hope on an elliptical and quiz him. Anyway, the suspect doesn't react to Vogel's book, which is suspicious since Vogel treated him. He also says the machine will "cut you up faster than a chef at Benihana." That must sound like a challenge to slice-and-dice Dex. He breaks into the guy's apartment and finds human organs stored in Tupperware. Ah, cannibal. Not the Brain Surgeon, but he'll do for now.

Later, Vogel tells Dex she made up the first rule of his Kill Club manual -- "Don't get caught" -- to give him "a little wiggle room" to potentially get rid of not-so-guilty people if it meant evading capture. She wants to know why he didn't kill Deb, and Dex looks vaguely horrified. He says he loves his sister, and Vogel challenges him on what he means by that. She insists that he can't possibly really love her, not the same way she loves him. And it sounds like Vogel has a point. "You're the cause for her pain, how can you expect to be the solution?" she says, and Dex counters: "I can handle Deb, I've been doing it my entire life."

Dex takes his sister to a family restaurant and points out a guy she saved during the season 5 nightclub shootout. See? He wouldn't be alive today if not for her actions. So buck up Deb, it's a wonderful life! "You're a good person" he says.

Now you would think that might work. And, in a way, it did...

Quinn subplot break! Can Quinn past the big sergeant's test? The Deputy Chief doesn't think so, and I have my doubts too. He calls Quinn "irresponsible, unpredictable, not to mention unintelligible." We see Batista trying to tutor Quinn, then he gets distracted by accidentally revealing to Jamie that he didn't really leave her bed to work a case. Even now, with his girlfriend super mad at him, notice Quinn doesn't tell Jamie the whole truth -- he protects Deb's honor by not revealing she was busted, even though that reason would have given him a much more understandable excuse. Quinn's just not that into you, Jamie.

So now we get into the real meat of this episode: Deb's confession.

NEXT: The big spill

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