Dexter recap: Confessions of a Kill-aholic

Dex races to prevent Deb from confessing to murder as Quinn seems like a lousy student
Ep. 03 | Aired Jul 14, 2013

YOU DIDN'T HIRE ME FOR MY BREATH, RIGHT? Elway (Sean Patrick Flanery) is frustrated with Deb (Jennifer Carpenter).

"Vogel's the killer" was the highest-rated comment on last week's Dexter recap. Many seemed pretty sure of that. Now, though ... apparently not. Unless whoever is leaving those gory gifts on Dr. Vogel's doorstep is somehow operating under her puppet-master-like control. I don't think so. Vogel is hiding a secret, I suspect, but she's not The Brain Surgeon.

Daddy Dex wakes to find Harrison covered in blood, an echo of his own serial killer birth. Turns out he was simply gorging on a carton of Popsicles: Now in Gory Blood-Red Flavor. Harrison gives the most primal answer to Dex asking him why he did that. "Because I love them," Harrison says, and surely all of us who have ever spent a weekend binging on seasons of Breaking Bad or 24 know how Harrison feels. Dex gives him some Pepto and wishes, with handy transition-friendly insight, that only Deb's woes could be cured so easily.

And so we find Deb being woken up in her car by an officer. She's skunk-drunk and knocked over a parking meter. "Mothersh--t" she says, mixing her profanities just like she's mixing her drugs (and that one is pretty good).

She phones Quinn who, despite being in bed with his girlfriend Jamie -- and despite Jamie having just finished forgiving his Deb-obsessing last week -- agrees to go help his ex. He tells Jaimie it's just "cop stuff," as if really saying, "cop stuff baby, don't worry your pretty head about it."

Deb is slumped at a police station. She talks to Quinn, but I'm distracted by her rad retro sweater, which is worthy of The Dude in The Big Lebowski.

Quinn offers to take her home so she can get a shower. She says: "I keep deodorant in my desk." Ah man. Has there ever been a more sad summation of somebody who's truly just given up on life and is content to stumble into work drunk than "I keep deodorant in my desk"?

Quinn tries to suggest she might have a drinking problem. But like Dex scolding her for killing people, Quinn doesn't have much ground to stand on.

Crime scene: Dex arrives with the crew to find the Brain Surgeon's victim/killer still dead. But now he's a different kind of dead. He's no longer on the hook and the scene has been re-staged to look like a suicide. That seems like an awful lot of trouble to go through. Det. Angie, who clearly doesn't watch this show, suggests the killer found his conscience and killed himself.

At home, Vogel gets a text message from the killer, who leaves a couple brain pieces on her porch. At least they're gift wrapped. All presents are better when wrapped. So I'm now firmly thinking she's not the killer. Though you would think, yes, here in the final season, the Big Bad would be either the main guest star or somebody familiar from past seasons, right?

NEXT: Dexter tries to earn his wings


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