Dexter recap: Crash and Learn

Dex and Deb get a crash course in extreme therapy: Here's 8 things we learned
Ep. 04 | Aired Jul 21, 2013

DRIVING ME CRAZY Deb (Jennifer Carpenter) and Dex (Michael C. Hall) go for a leisurely drive while working out their issues.

This week Dr. Vogel continued to work her dark creepy magic on Dexter and Debra, trying to get them to accept their past deeds and feel generally okay about mercilessly killing people. The episode, aptly titled "Scar Tissue," is basically one big therapy session, climaxing with Debra taking her treatment into her own hands and Dexter having a breakthrough while trying to murder The Brain Surgeon.

With our Comic-Con coverage on the front burner this weekend (here's what happened at the Dexter panel), we're going to keep this recap short and bittersweet. Here's 8 things we learned Sunday night:

1. Quinn passed the sergeants test: In the 85th percentile, no less. We're surprised too. "I've never been this happy to get back a positive test," Quinn says. Yet deputy chief Matthews is putting pressure on Batista to give the stripes to Miller instead. Something about Miller scoring higher -- not to mention seeming like a competent professional who isn't about to bury her face in strippers and booze on any given weekend. Sorry Quinn, we're siding with Matthews on this one.

2. The Big Bad is a cable TV installer. Dex snooped around the house of Yates, one of Vogel's former patients who now is a "bundler." And here we thought it doesn't take a brain surgeon to work at a cable company (sorry). Not only has he had brain surgery himself at Dr. Vogel's recommendation (a little detail that you would think would have sprung to mind sooner for Dr. Vogel), but he also keeps an assortment of women's shoes in his home taken from his victims (Dexter Head-Smacking Implausibility of the Week Alert: If Yates is so paranoid that he's installed cameras all through his house, why wouldn't he at least keep his collection of hugely incriminating footwear in his secret rooms instead of in his regular closet?). Yates finds out Dex and Vogel are onto him and skips town, leaving behind only a half-dead victim and a diagram showing how he kills people in case anybody searching his house wasn't 100 percent certain of his guilt.

3. Dexter has a cute neighbor. Hi Cassie. Run Cassie. Seriously, just stay out of this show, it's bad news. You seem entirely too normal to be a love interest for Dexter Morgan.

4. Masuka has a daughter! A college-age hottie shows up at Miami Metro and Vince is startled to learn she's his daughter -- and she even has the same laugh. This raises a few questions: Would a woman really pick Masuka out of the sperm donor catalog and go "That one!"? And can kids from sperm donors really show up on their biological parent's doorstep like that? (Seeing conflicting things online, but it sounds like, yes, it is possible if Masuka chose to be an open donor). Another thought: What if Masuka and his daughter had met in a bar a month ago? ... Yeah, scary right? Accidental incest is one of the dangers of sperm donation, as pointed out by no less a source than Cracked.com.

5. Deb's boss Elway is boring the s--t out of me. I don't think I need to elaborate on this.

NEXT: Deb's had it!


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