Let's see here. The premiere of Desperate Housewives included one wedding, one scorned woman, one adulterous affair, one bitchy teen terror, one very unhappy pregnant wife, one new family on the street with some sort of dark secret, and one rather surprising attempted murder. With all that ammunition, I say to naysayers who claim the hydrangeas on Wisteria Lane have lost their pungent fragrance: think again. In my opinion, at six seasons in, the show is better than ever. Those hydrangeas are more putrid and beautiful than ever.
Let's start by talking about the aspect that seems most intriguing for this season: the attempt on Julie Mayer's life. First off, I was rather surprised to see Andrea Bowen back on the show, but I suppose it makes sense for her to show up for her mother's wedding. But, of course, more than the surprise of her return after a season spent mostly away, I was surprised to see her attacked with little wind-up. Like, where did that come from? Who knows, but I really loved it. What I love about having Julie in peril in the first episode is that it's shocking and totally unexpected. She's a big enough character that I care about her and know a decent amount about her, but it's not like Susan, Gabby, Lynette, Bree, or Katherine was knocked off the show. No, no, that'd be no good. In EW's Fall TV Preview, we quoted creator Marc Cherry as saying, ''I've come up with my own version of 'Who Shot J.R.?''' Why he certainly did, didn't he?
So clearly, with Julie's attack, we've got our mystery du jour. Of course, the question now is: Whodunit? After seeing Julie interact with the new boy on the street, producers want us to think that either he or his family (which is harboring some sort of secret, as nearly any new family to the Lane usually is) is responsible. Because, let's be honest, there is something weird about the Bolen clan. After the Bolen son, Danny, asked Julie if she'd go to a movie with him, we were led to believe that his father told her that she shouldn't go out with him. And then there's Angie's alarming scar/burn on her back.
At this point, it's not even worth speculating what could have caused Angie's injury because the family honestly didn't reveal anything much about themselves. (Or was there something small they revealed that I didn't catch? Let me know in the comments!) I suppose we do know there's something weird about the Bolens because we heard Angie say this to her husband: ''We can't afford to make waves here. Everyone has to think we're nice, normal people.'' So, then, they're not nice, normal people? Sorry to bring it up again, but according to our Fall TV Preview, though, they're running from something. But what?
What I do like about the Bolen clan is that they seem very real and very gritty, like they're totally capable of sort of doing what they need to survive, no matter what the price. Remember when Angie took Lee to task when he was trying to sell the house? (BTW, since when did Lee have a passion for real estate? Speaking of that, I loved this inappropriate homage from Lee to the dearly departed Edie: ''I got really lucky. The woman who handled the properties in the area, she slammed her car into a pole and got fried by a power line.'')
NEXT: A woman scorned