'Desperate Housewives' season finale recap: Altared States

Compared to the shockers revealed on every other front, Gaby and Carlos' storyline about taking in their sexpot niece Anna (Ana?) seems rather tame. Instead of the comedy show that is Gaby and Carlos Plus Two, it's now Gaby and Carlos Plus Three. And the new third is shaping up to be quite the match for Gaby, as she's beautiful, has a way with boys (getting them to do her chores and all!), and is manipulative as all hell. Read: She's a Gaby clone! Clearly, producers brought her in during this season finale to set up some drama (and infuse the show with a little more youth!) that will unfold next season. Wisteria Lane is always hungry for some new blood, so it'll be interesting to see what Anna has up her sleeves. Her grandmother Connie, who pawned her off on the Solis family, couldn't wait to get rid of her. Which is telling. So what's her damage besides being a complete sexpot and rambunctious teenager? Unless it's truly sordid, I'm afraid this storyline has the potential for snooziness.

But at least seeing Anna and Gaby spar will be entertaining! Tonight, Gaby was on fire, as usual. Describing the family reunion to daughter Juanita, Gaby said: ''Well, if your idea of a good time is sitting on rusty lawn chairs in the driveway eating lard in the shape of chicken, then, Yep! It's gonna be a blast.'' And then summing up Carlos' family to Juanita: ''Honey, you're 6 now, so I think it's time we had a little mother-daughter talk. Your father's side of the family is trash. Any questions?'' And then more about Carlos' extended family to Juanita: ''Trash don't change, sweetheart.'' And then finally to Anna, as she unpacked her designer duds: ''Young lady, if you live under my roof, you will not disparage Versace!'' Love all of Gaby's sound bites. And I have to add, Juanita — for her childish sneer, her adoration of her mother — is fast becoming one of my favorite characters on the show. More Juanita in season 6, please!

Are you still with me, folks? I know that was quite the dissertation, but it was a two-hour episode packed with lots of juice and intrigue that'll take us right into season 6 in the fall. Overall, despite my bellyaching about the painfully slow Dave storyline, I'd say this was a rather fun, and memorable season. We saw everything from the amazing five-year fast-forward of the series and Edie's shocking departure to the series' weird, but sweet, 100th episode tribute to Eli Scruggs and the demise of a local bar. All in all, good times.

I want to take this moment to thank all you faithful Desperate Housewives TV Watchers for making it through 24 episodes with me this season — and take this opportunity to pose a handful of burning questions as we head into a four-month hiatus: Who did Mike take to the altar? Do you think we've seen the last of Jackson? What's Gaby and Carlos' niece got up that Versace (or Vera Wang) sleeve of hers? Who'll sacrifice what in the Scavo clan now that two more babies are on the way? Are Karl and Bree just having a fling — or could they be the next couple to waltz down the aisle? After a season of the five-year flash-forward, are you loving or loathing it?

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