'Desperate Housewives' season finale recap: A Bury Special Episode

If Carlos was supposed to be the blind one, then why were Bree and Orson trying to set Andrew up with a man who was old enough to be his father? Actually, Andrew answered that question quite succinctly. Mom's just pimping him out for a new roof! As it turned out, the gay neighbors have a gay contractor friend named Walter, who is heartbroken. Bree needed a contractor and has a gay son who is single. You do the math. Unfortunately, things don't add up when you factor in two girls who need a mommy. Julie and Susan had been skeptical about letting Bree into their home, but when Bree became their very own Mary Poppins, they weren't ready to see her leave anytime soon. She cooks, she folds, she hems skirts! Julie was practically on her knees begging Susan, ''Can we keep her, can we keep her?'' And can you blame her? So Susan did what she does best and ruined Bree's home-repair scheme, Andrew's chances of getting a flat-screen TV, Walter's opportunity to flaunt a new guy in front of his ex, and a potentially delicious dessert amongst forced friends. Gotta wonder what rating Susan would get from Bob and Lee. Poor Walter scored a three. I went to grade school with boys who gave out ratings during lunch period. I didn't score any better than Walter. Let's just leave it at that.

But even though Susan spoiled the dinner party, Bree and I both sympathized with her. She's pregnant, and her husband's in rehab. Oh hey, that's right — Mike wasn't in this episode. I hadn't noticed until right now. I'd take scenes between Susan and Bree over scenes between Susan and Mike any day. And with Orson spouting lines like ''He's here, he's queer, and we're used to it,'' I certainly wasn't missing Mike's drug drama. Here's hoping that Orson and Bree move in with Susan forever and Mike has a nice looong stay in some remote facility.

And here's hoping the Mayfair mystery doesn't continue to drag its feet. Desperate Housewives has a tendency to test its audience's patience, and, believe me, as a fan of Lost, I have infinite amounts of patience. I am patience personified. Provided, of course, I'm given at least a morsel of a clue or hint along the way. Instead, we got duplicate scenes of Adam and Dylan reading the note and trying to muster as much shock as they could without causing their heads to pop off. How 'bout letting me see at least one word of the note and then let me speculate for weeks about what it could possibly mean? And Katherine, no one burns secret documents in the fireplace anymore. Welcome to 2008; go immediately to your nearest Staples and pick up a shredder. And Adam, come back. You're not leaving for good, right? Right? Katherine's just a tad miffed about having to identify your old lover at the morgue; she'll get over it! At least let me know when Desperate Housewives will be back before you go? Adam?

So, TV Watchers, are you dying to see Andrew in that mesh T-shirt? Wondering what tales of horror are scribbled down on that note? Happy to see the Scavo clan reunited, or disappointed that Marc Cherry didn't ''go there'' and kill a few of them off? Offended that they said Walter is a three? Happy we didn't have to suffer through any Mike-in-rehab scenes? And do any of you have ideas about how to pass the time on Sunday nights until the show returns?

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