Dancing With the Stars recap: Sweat 'n' Wild

Sweat, tears, and knee braces abound on a steamy Week 2 Latin Night; the first season 17 couple heads home
Ep. 02 | Aired Sep 23, 2013

LEN'S GONNA MAKE YOU SWEAT Val and Elizabeth struggle to decipher the head judge's comment that they were "so close" -- yet "absolutely fantastic!"

ABC

Elizabeth Berkley and Val Chmerkovskiy: 25/30 "Stop looking at my boobs." "Stop looking at mine." I'm loving this couple's natural banter. Val always finds a way to fall in love with his partners early on -- "You're so adorable when you do that step," he drawled behind her during rehearsals. Yep, I'm into it. Of course It didn't hurt when he referred to her as "such a gem" on liiiiiiiiiiive TV. And I also loved his answer when Jessie Spano asked what time it was. "It's GAME TIME." Huh. He's always so accurate.

Elizabeth was undeniably impressive in their scarlet-fever samba, and this was only in part due to Val's well-oiled machine, his chest. That routine seemed really difficult -- I do wonder if it was too full of effort for viewers, if that makes any sense. I mean, Elizabeth was really hoofing it trying to make all those marks. But I'd rather see a couple challenge themselves than just point and pose. (Ahem, Snooki.)

"You're just this strong, sensuous dancer in control of your body," Carrie Ann raved. "You're a tall girl, but just oozy, oozy." And it's official I just made it my life's goal to have someone say that about me. (Maybe someone already has, at the end of a wedding. Because I spilled something on the dance floor? Ha, like I'd remember.)

Christina Milian and Mark Ballas: 25/30 Mark knows the best way to command applause is to have the Harold Wheeler Band press play on an iPod loaded up with Lady Gaga's latest single, so he did that. I wish Christina had worn a Kym Johnson-esque (just wanted to mention the dearly departed!) "single panel skirt" because it was hard to see what was going on with her legs during this paso doble.

She's very convincing as a dancer, but I'm not really drawn in to her performances yet. It's like I don't have a good enough reason to like her. The extended remix of her "evil laugh" was 7-worthy, but not "Seh-vehhhhhn!"-worthy, which should make sense to true Dancing With the Stars fans. And sometimes, Mark even makes the case against the couple's likability, with his antics.

Screen Shot 2013-09-23 at 11.27.46 PM

Mark, what is this? Stop.

NEXT: Scientology would have to be CRAZY to find fault in the samba!


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