Dancing With the Stars season finale recap: No Pain, No Confetti Rain

Amber, Corbin, and Jack dance one last time and Snooki compliments Brooke's boobs in the liiiiiiive season 17 finale
Ep. 12 | Aired Nov 26, 2013


Ooh. Tom gives his heartiest and slyest "Liiiiiiiiiiiiive!" of the season before a commercial break, and it's so long it gets taken down in volume at the end. (Still, better than a brutal cutoff.) It might have even spanned an octave! We should have Bill Nye's body double investigate the science of that.

Whoa. Enrique Iglesias looks really… young? Is that an entirely new face? Wait, is he even the same person? He's doing dubstep-y stuff now? WHO IS THIS GUY?

Team Freestyle reprise! As promised, Ylvis (two grown Norwegian men in fox suits) is on hand to further investigate what "The Fox" says, this time in an uncontrolled ballroom setting. Their findings…. are nil. I'm pretty sure everyone in the world who isn't Carrie Ann, Bruno, or under 15 years old is sick of this song by now.

Screen Shot 2013-11-26 at 11.17.18 PM

Len misses the "act like a fox with your hands, too" memo. He's thinking about sausages.

Oh good God, it's all of Our Female Pros, violently writhing everywhere in electric blue fringe. The fringe is royal blue; it just feels electric. This dance is the definition of "hot mess" (non-mom version) and I enjoy all the creative transitions between the smaller groups of them, like Cheryl's hand leading us to the opposite end of the stage, or Witney's finger beckoning us to the final sparkly-boob-glue pileup in front of the judges' table. I try to pause my TV on the sexiest moment, and I think I get it, but it unfortunately looks like this:

Screen Shot 2013-11-26 at 11.18.54 PM

Our Pros: Better in liiiiiiiiiiiiiive action than still images.

"This has been a PSA from the Spray Tan and Tassels Association," quips Tom.

Bill Nye the Mirrorball Bow Tie undergoes an intense scientific experiment that will make him, as Tom's voiceover promises, a "better, stronger, dancer" Bill. And it works! Thanks to some clever camera angles and cuts to (Henry, I think?) tumbling for his life, the Weird Science Guy has seemingly transformed from gawky nerd to lithe gymnast. Science is incredible.

NEXT: Open that shirt, boy!

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