Dancing With the Stars recap: Len Needs a Cookie

The head judge throws a fit on Dance Trio night; Gleb's ponytail and Tristan's guyliner wage a fierce-off
Ep. 14 | Aired May 6, 2013

SALSA FRESCA Who KNOWS where this show would be without underwear models? Bruno, you take that back!


Alexandra Raisman and Mark Ballas: 29/30 Argentine tango + 27/30 jive trio = 56/60 For their Argentine tango, Mark gave Aly a quick tutorial on how to be a seductive harlot -- luckily, he's an expert. I wasn't totally blown away by this dance or Aly's apparent transformation from a 17-year-old to a sultry temptress, but I did like their powerful lifts (even though Lift Policewoman Inaba said they had "little strange moments") and a lot of the camera choices that showcased these lifts up close. "Looks like you've done it your whole life," raved Bruno. "The hooks were fantastic."

Mark created a cool, jazzy atmosphere for their jive trio with Henry -- I liked the threesome's matching red hats and the guys' red vests and spats (yes, I liked spats. call the police, there's a madwoman around!) and the use of chairs at the beginning and end. Mark had ridiculed Aly's inability to count and keep a beat so much during the intro package, though, that her internal struggle to stay with the music was all I could think about during the liiiiiiiive show. And then the whole thing just couldn't feel fun at all.

Jacoby Jones and Karina Smirnoff: 27/30 Viennese waltz + 25/30 = 52/60 Is there a way to vote against Jacoby's mom? Will she perform the dance of my choice next week if I tweet #sitdownrudeladyyoureembarrassingyourself? I'm gonna try it. That whole mama non-plot is not working. And the guy really doesn't deserve all 10s. The best part of their Viennese waltz was Karina's sea foam green nightgown, which had sheer stripes that made the swishing skirt look like furious ocean waves. Dazzling! Jacoby ripped his shirt open -- a classic Viennese waltz move -- and kept himself level and smooth with minimal choppiness. "I was lookin'; you were cookin'," said Len, not yet in need of a cookie.

The mighty Cheryl joined Jacoby and Karina for a paso doble trio featuring FIRE, plus a leap over both of their heads and a slide between both of their legs. That just sounds wrong, but it happened. Deal with it. Unfortunately Jacoby got sloppy in his role as a tennis ball (the most aggressive and manly of all the net-sport balls) and flung his cape right onto Cheryl during the dance. "We wanted a little more finesse in the tossing," Carrie Ann lamented. Len barked out his tired "You used to be a pretender; now you're a contender" line, but Bruno thought Jacoby's Spanish lines were lacking.

NEXT: Peta redefines 'poodle skirt'

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