Image credit: ABC
MOST DECORATED Olympics darling Aly or tattooed Mark?
Ingo Rademacher and Kym Johnson: 23/30 This was a really, really sweet story from Ingo -- after watching all his General Hospital cash burn a hole in his wallet for 12 years in L.A., he met Hawaiian wife Ehiku in 2009 and felt like life really started when they created a family…of evil 3-givers! Ha, Ingo's bigger son, the Tot-emacher, was channeling Len with that harsh score during rehearsal footage.
Ingo and Kym's Viennese waltz wasn't too flashy (except for all the post-Labor Day white! side note: when is it not after Labor Day, when you really think about it?), and Len could appreciate the basic footwork and natural turns in Ingo's opening solo. I thought he and Kym created a lot of "beautiful pictures" -- the compliment Carrie Ann gave Kellie tonight -- during this waltz. Their final extension was stunningly symmetrical. On DWTS and in life, Love and Five-Minute Abs are all you need.
I loved how Brooke was all "Shut up, nobody noticed" when Ingo mentioned he'd stepped on Kym's appliqué-emblazoned wedding dress. "No points for oversharing, Ingo!" chimed in Tom. I give Ingo a 3 for this sudden and jarring bout of honesty. No one wants to hear it, buddy. We can't handle the truth!
Andy Dick and Sharna Burgess: 21/30 I am just loving everything Andy's putting out there -- he may have officially trumped Ty Murray as the ultimate Dancing With the Stars Hero Figure with this sob-inducing Viennese waltz, and it's only Week 4! If he actually improves and becomes a decent dancer, he could go pretty far despite landing in the bottom last week. Who would've thought that DWTS would be a better reality TV test of sobriety than Celebrity Rehab? EVERYONE.
Anyway, sobriety has given Andy a chance to redeem himself with his kids -- specifically his daughter Meg, 15, "a mini version of me," said Andy. I feel like I could watch a loop of Sharna patiently rubbing the back of Andy's neck as he starts to cry for, like, hours. (It's been playing in my mind as I've sat here sob-typing since then, so I guess I kind of have.) They're a perfect couple and she choreographed a waltz simple enough that Andy could stay in the calming spirit of the dance and really feel it in the moment instead of worrying about each next move.
Andy's "wonderful fragile quality" (said Bruno) during his solo was what really set me off -- the blink-and-you'd-miss-it hands on his heart after he reached out to his daughter from the middle of the floor. I appreciated the understated nature of the dance itself after all that buildup, and the autumnal scenery around them was perfect, too.
Ugh, I had such a moment with Andy Dick here! AND the song was "Hallelujah"?! Bitch, please! #sparklebarf
NEXT: Nothing says Compton like a foxtrot