Dancing With the Stars season finale recap: Great Mirrorballs of Fire!

Aly, Kellie, Jacoby, and Zendaya vie for the most coveted knob of glitter in all the land. The winners are...
Ep. 19 | Aired May 21, 2013

FEEL THIS MOMENT That means you, Mark and Jacoby!

ABC

After a two-hour finale featuring performances from Wynonna Judd, Pitbull, Jessica Sanchez, and Psy (whoa...what if those were the four finalists?!), we have a winner! The proud owners of a COVETED MIRRORBALL TROPHY.... are....

Kellie Pickler and Derek Hough!

Zendaya and Val Chmerkovskiy were the runners up.... Jacoby Jones and Karina Smirnoff came in third..... Aly Raisman and Mark Ballas finished fourth.

EW.com readers overwhelmingly voted that Kellie should win, but it seemed like the rest of the cast was surprised it wasn't Zendaya in the end. Either would have been so deserving -- and my heart is SWELLING to the size of a fringed butt right now (#sparklebarf) after luxuriating in the natural high provided by those last three dances.

I can't believe those Instant Dances always get to me so much, because on the surface they are so pointless! Everyone always gets a 30. You could fall flat on your butt/heart, or half-ass a leap due to an awkwardly placed camera (as Jacoby did), or bungle the high kick that punctuates the final note of the song (as Kellie did), and without a doubt, you are entitled to "From Len...a 10!" -- which translates roughly to "The only 10 that really matters!"

But they're brilliant! Jacoby, who was soooo over it by the final studio rehearsal, still sucked it up enough to execute an incredible behind-the-back spin/lift with his trademark energetic abandon as Andy Dick's neon yellow bowtie bounced along with him in the front row. Karina had on this random purple belt that served no function -- but if you looked at it long enough, you realized that of course, absolutely there should be an extra horizontal sparkle strip to jive against the technicolor staircase. The instant dance round always sparks up an unexpected last surge of gooey love I have for this show. And at what better time could that happen?!

The complete Dancing With the Stars viewing experience, in 6 seconds (from Vine)

I WILL NEVER NOT THINK SOMEONE IS ABOUT TO DIE BY PERFORMING THIS MOVE.

NEXT: Life Lessons from Val #WhyAmICrying

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