'Dancing With the Stars' recap: On a Roll

Speaking of things that are stuffed, it was then obviously time to pack the USC Trojans Marching Band and their featured dancers into our tiny, beloved Rectagon for a very enjoyable ''Get Down Tonight'' number choreographed by Stomp the Yard choreographer Chuck Maldonado and performer Jimmy R.O. Smith. Of course, I loved the geeky ''D-w-t-S'' letter-sweatered dancers far more than the sloppy orange track-suited dancers, but they were all good. I only wish the band had been initially led out by Tony Dovolani in his appropriately festive red and gold 'Pride of Albania' embroidered jacket. Oh, it seems my mom, DANCMSTR Dee Barrett, would like to weigh in here via e-mail: ''The USC Marching Trojans — we remember them from when they performed with Fleetwood Mac — 'Tusk.' Only they rocked so much more.'' Wow, riveting stuff from DANCMSTR Dee. My mom is almost as insightful as I am.

The brand-new DWTS training facility had me fantasizing about a Big Brother/Real World-esque spinoff series in which we could ''see how they really live'' or something lame like that. And by ''lame'' I mean ''I would totally watch.'' It would probably be mostly footage of Derek running laps around the perimeter of the building because he'd run out of people to annoy. Maybe every so often, the entire cast could huddle around a letterbox and scream ''DANCMSTR Post!'' which would be like Top Model's Tyra Mail but more coherent and including words like ''flavour.'' With its monotone walls and silly monsters who weren't entirely impressed by their new surroundings, the DWTS Funhouse reminded me of the 1985 Sesame Street Book Club classic The House of Seven Colors. Anyway, the end of my copious notes about the training facility segment, I typed, furiously, ''FAN FICTION OPPORTUNITY.'' Look for my best-selling adult danceventure series The House of Flying Swaggers and Disco Ball Dreams, on shelves soon. Seriously, would anyone buy that? I swear to Kathy Ireland's God, I'll do it!

Not much to say about the ''Breaking The Bad Habits of Our Stars'' segment except that I cannot believe the producers haven't run out of relatively interesting ideas for filler segments. Seriously. Oh, and Anna D. deserves props for her quip to Irvin that ''If dancing was easy, they'd call it football.'' Oh, snap, girl. First down!

Happy? Sad? Suffering from electric shock like Samantha's hair? Leave your thoughts about week 2 in the comments, DANCMSTRs!

Follow Annie on Twitter: (@EWAnnieBarrett)

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