'Dancing With the Stars' recap: Suited to a Tee

Potential New Pros! My favorite PNP at this point is probably Mayo, because he's really tall and his first name is also my favorite condiment. If you think that's shallow, maybe you're eating sandwiches, fries, and sushi the wrong way. Spice it up a little. Other first impressions...Afton DelGrosso: Blossom Russo all grown up (sans fashion hats), somewhat familiar due to big sis Ashly. Brent: Definite showman with hot, hot arms; will his energy and personality overpower the standards? Anna: Gorgeous, earnest as heck, the show could benefit from her serenity, and I'm pissed I didn't happen to clomp by as she demo'd her talents in the middle of Times Square. She and Mayo were both mighty toothy during that waltz but overall showed a sense of maturity DWTS has been lacking. Genya: Also familiar to us, very confident in his sense of humor; judges really hammered in the idea that he's an amazing partner. Snow: Looks and acts like she's in a music video all the time. If they both stay, I hope the So You Think You Can Dance alum and Genya keep up the somewhat trashy bickering. When Genya complained, ''The whole point of this is that I'm dancing with a pro,'' my mouth went agape. It may have been hanging open since Samantha's particularly heinous jerk-dancing at 9:07; memory fails.

Finally, the weekly award for Most Laughably Useless Filler goes to the ''medical correspondents'' segment, during which we learned things we already knew, just phrased in a new way (''they're doing something that's very unusual for exercise''), and experienced visuals we probably didn't want to entertain, like L.T. shoveling in an extra 33 hamburgers per week. (Leave it to the nutritionist to not bother converting that number into delicious cheeseburgers instead.) Devastatingly, the segment did not inform me of how many chocolate-covered graham crackers I'd be allowed to eat after writing a typical Dancing With the Stars recap. I'll take the liberty of guesstimating that the answer is ''seven.'' (DANCMSTR: ''Seh-vehhhhhhhhhn!'')

Ha — could anyone else not handle that woman behind Tom at the very left of the frame who kept adjusting her facial angle to make it ''perfect'' (no) and smiling coyly for the camera? Ewww.com.

Hidden Gem of the Week: By popular demand....sorry to break my loserish three-week streak of only highlighting random members of the audience as ''winners,'' but Chuck's blatant boob grab at the beginning of his and Julianne's samba simply could not be ignored. Below, an examination in three parts — a triptych that doesn't belong anywhere near an altar, if you will:

I like how Julianne's facial expression makes the leap from ''Oh crap!'' (left) to ''Yeah! He's cuppin' my junk and I'm gonna KICK even harder because of it!''

UPDATE: Carrie Ann Inaba's week 7 blog is now live on PopWatch!

Okay, DANCMSTRs, I just became an online-certified nutritionist and hereby proclaim that after reading a DWTS recap, you can safely scarf down any cupcake you choose, because cupcakes often resemble sequins. What'd you think of Tuesday night? Are you voting for a Potential New Pro?

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