'Dancing With the Stars' recap: Party's Over, Garth

As always, there were plenty of special guests. Michael Flatley and his Old Navy Performance Fleet showed up to thoroughly enthrall me. For real. I got off on the part where the troops were allowed to swing their arms. And Avril Lavigne dropped by to screech, twice. Is she still pretending to be even slightly associated with punk? I'm not sure the sparkly pink microphone and complimentary Dancing With the Stars laser show helped her case. And finally, Sabrina and Mark returned to perform an exhibitionful of hearty lifts, gymnastics, and professional dance moves that basically served to remind everyone exactly why they went home in the first place. That dance was like a garbage pizza I wasn't really hungry for and certainly never ordered, plus an oil-stained receipt and an extraneous six-pack of the new Michelob Ultra Tuscan Orange Grapefruit. Wait, I'll take the fake booze.

Pillow fight!

Then came a pretty useless segment wherein entertainment-news pundits told us why we should tune in to a show we were already watching. It was nice to see Tom Bergeron get major props as ''the best live host'' on TV. I just can't believe the producers didn't call me. I could have delivered a dramatic reading of the ever-important Fringe vs. Sequins count I've been furtively keeping all season. Now no one will ever know. And everyone will continue to not care!

Okay, I'll see you guys at Marie's house for Thanksgiving, or on Tuesday morning to recap the last performance show of the season. Till then, tell us what you think. Did Jennie deserve to go home before the finals? And which dancer has the most to prove next week?

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