'Dancing With the Stars' recap: Cheetahs Never Prosper

The rest of the results show kind of rocked. Jane Seymour had ''food poisoning,'' so for the encore of the group dance, Julianne danced with Tony for their short partner segment, but then Tony decided to stay in the ring and dance by himself for the rest of the time. I became unexpectedly fascinated by his solo performance and started playing Where's Dovolani? on my screen. I'm not sure which was more uncomfortable — Tony pantomiming with himself or my inability to stop tracking him down. Get a grip, Barrett!

Recurring DWTS character Barry Manilow stopped by to let the pros dance to his music. Cheryl Burke and my favorite Dutchman diva, Louis van Amstel, performed a dance that was exceedingly hot considering the first lyric out of the gate was ''During the day she's a full-time typist at the computer.'' Later, married pros Jonathan Roberts and Anna Tre-BUN-skaya presented a floaty gauze extravaganza set to ''Mandy'' that was perfection. Over 50 strategically placed candles enabled their romance, so good thing those L.A. County firefighters were on hand in the front row. For his part, Professor Manilow conducted a lecture on when is the appropriate time to possibly remove one's IV drip of Botox. All he had to do was sit or stand there and sing. We're all going to ace the exam.

I am absolutely filled with dread re: the Carrie Ann/Bruno vehicle (or vehicular manslaughter) Dance Wars. I'd probably enjoy It's Only Len! more than that mess. That is all.

What do you think? Was Jane really just hungover? Are you shocked about Sabrina? Upset? And does her elimination make you want to watch the rest of the season more or less?

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