Dancing With the Stars recap: Return of the Maks

Plenty of absentee pros come back for Len's Side-by-Side Challenge. Let the Argentine Tang-bro begin!
Ep. 08 | Aired Apr 15, 2013

THREE GEMS AND A BABY Zendaya considers adulthood.

ABC

Aly Raisman and Mark Ballas: 25/30 Weird color combo for this samba (which Aly dedicated to her hometown following Monday's Boston Marathon bombing) with Witney and Tony. Navy and orange? Unless this was a stealth Chicago Bears homage, I suspect Mark costumed everyone specifically so that he'd have a chance to whip out his orange spats. And more power to him, honestly. Everyone deserves a shot.

That Witney is just rehearsal footage candy, huh? I love how she truly helped Aly let loose with all the hair-whipping. Aww, they grow up (from 17 to 18) so fast! "But Mark's a good girl, too," Aly reminded us. "He's good at being really sassy."

Man, some of those quick underarm turns from Witney and Tony were just insane. Aly's technique seemed better on TV with all the quick cuts than it did from my seat. But the judges overall approved. "Your bottom is the tops, really," offered Len, who was really obsessed with the idea of humans split into two parts tonight. But what kind of sweet treat did Aly resemble tonight, DANCMSTR? You're slipping.

Sean Lowe and Peta Murgatroyd: 24/30 Whoa, how did Sean end up out-scoring Victor and Ingo? To be honest, I spent more time during that quickstep (with Tristan and Chelsie) gaping with equal parts intrigue and horror at Peta's gold-dipped buns. I kept expecting them to split open like foil at any moment -- perhaps Peta would want to rival the guys' shirtless/suspenders trend with her own spin on it: pantsless/garter belt. Who knows! Those ridiculous lamé pants made me forget Sean even existed.

I guess that tactic worked on the judges, too. Bruno claimed Sean had transformed from a lumberjack to a swan, while Len argued, "last week, a statue; this week, a pigeon." Bruno's giggle fit while Len desperately tried to explain himself -- "Pigeons sit on statues…" was absurd and genuine and even more hilarious to watch in person without some of the cuts away. He was still dying laughing when he held up that final 8! This, combined with Sean's understandable desire to copy everything Tristan does, made for a damn entertaining segment.

I really think this is the hidden gem to end all hidden gems, by the way:

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FISHERMAN ARRESTED FOR USING WIFE AS SHARK BAIT.

Foreshadowing? Will Sean learn to fish? And hypothetically, if you took the ABC wedding sponsorship away: Would Sean actually get married? And ha -- is this thing called The National Inquisitor? All very important questions.

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Tristan is not impressed.

I still cannot get enough of Peta's "Are you kidding?" face at the beginning of this dance.

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Also, good God! That wig.

NEXT: Aggggggghhhhhh, creepy mannequins

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