Bill Engvall and Emma Slater: 28/40 cha cha cha + 32/40 Argentine tango = 60/80 total
"Something in my groin went way haywire" is what you might want to hear from a typically listless DWTS viewer upon realizing Emma was pretty much wearing Just Undies for their Argentine tango, but not from one of two remaining non-medically compromised contestants! But so it was for Bill, who strained his junk while lifting Emma during rehearsals this week. "I need two minutes," Bill warned Emma as he beelined towards a mirrored door. (WHOA.)
Following Bill and Emma's messy and absurd Workout Zebra Barbie rendition of LMFAO's "Sexy And I Know It" in their cha cha, the judges turned their first set of critiques into what seemed like a farewell speech of sorts. Len called Bill "the people's champion," Carrie Ann thanked him for bringing the joy back into the ballroom (had it escaped last week along with Elizabeth Berkley's dreams?), and Bruno helpfully reenacted Olivia Newton-John's "Let's Get Physical" video, for which Emma was already dressed. Then there was Maks: "I personally don't believe in talent, okay? I believe in hard work." Bill was like wait, not okay! I'm talented in other ways, I swear!
Their second-round "Unplugged" attempt fared much better. Against all odds (the song was still "Sexy And I Know It" and the singer was a "YouTube sensation"), their Argentine tango was sultry, smooth, and serious. I don't mind that Noah Guthrie and his acoustic guitar, I tell ya! I probably would if I saw 'em on YouTube, but cast in this thick, familiar goop of spray tan and sparkles, it all just seemed so odd and so right. Emma is even slinkier than I thought! I need to go seek out more clips of her dancing the Argentine tango… on YouTube. Full circle. Full sheer bodysuit. Butt partially covered. Doin' it right. Everybody will be dancing and be doin' it right…. Sorry, drifted off into some Daft Punk there. That song would've been great for Plugged/Unplugged, just sayin'.
How great is Bill's wife Gail? "I love that people love him!" she choked up. Simple and perfect.
Parting image: Plugged
Oh, hey guys!
I just love this intricately arranged shot of every pro aside from featured It Couple Derek and Sharna at the end of this week's incredible opening number by regular So You Think You Can Dance choreographer Mandy Moore. (Not that one.) All that posing for only a split second of footage? Oh well -- that somehow makes it even more special.
Parting image: Unplugged
Len. You stripping scoundrel.
Are you happy with the final four? What'd you think of beardless Maks?
Bonus: I had a lovely chat with DWTS showrunner Conrad Green about the difficulty of downsizing the show to one night a week. Click here to read his thoughts on less-than-ideal voting, the judges' eternal dilemma, and the future of the series....