Eights across the board in a week 3 samba weren't enough to save Jack Wagner and Anna Trebunskaya from an untimely Dancing With the Stars elimination Tuesday night. The soap star looked rather surprised his name was called, and so was I. Dancing first last night could have been the kiss of death for the fiery Heat Miser (Jimmy Kimmel just told Jack he resembled a "gay match" in his costume) and the fiery redhead.
Jack made sure to thank the judges and offer good luck to all the other dancers before disappearing forever into the well of tears that was this week's ballroom floor. "I love Anna; I love my daughter Kerry," Jack told Tom and Brooke. "I'm gonna miss strapping it on every day," he later told EW. We'll just let that one slide.
Gavin DeGraw and Karina Smirnoff joined Jack and Anna in the official bottom two, while Gladys Knight and EW.com blogger Tristan MacManus were "in jeopardy" but safe at the last minute.
New rule: Starting next week, the bottom two couples will wage a "Dance Duel" against each other and have to compete simultaneously so that the judges -- not the viewers -- can keep the more talented contestant from elimination. Scandal! And I don't just mean the little animated placard for the new ABC series that keeps popping up next to Brooke's boobs. This new rule will allow the judges to overrule the viewers' decision. Plus, the couples will have to prepare an entirely new routine on Monday nights. That's a lot of work just to apologize for Jack Wagner's elimination.
Len provided some foreshadowing to the Dance Duel announcement as he complained at the beginning of the show, "Brooke, don't get me started." (That's right, Brooke. The nerve on you!) "Last night was unbelievable. I wish those producers up in that little box somewhere would come down and say 'let's all roll it over 'til next week.'" I love how Len acts like he has no idea where the control room is. Even I know where that sucker is, and I am a mere fringe fairy. You're the freaking DANCMSTR, man! Learn your locale!
Is there any more beautiful results show exhibition couple than Anna and Jonathan Roberts? They created a waltz in honor of their friend and fellow dancer Julia Ivleva, who was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. I don't think I've wept this hard on a Tuesday night since their "Angel" waltz with Sarah McLachlan in season 10. I really lost it when the lights went out at the end and they were just crumbled together in a heap of chiffon and amazing grace.
Ha! Tony. He's the hidden gem of their successful marriage.
NEXT: The Top 7 (seh-vehhhhhn!) moments of the results show