Zendaya and Val Chmerkovskiy: 27/30 paso doble + 3 for the dance-off jive = 30 The judges were being so wild with the 10s I was worried this paso doble would get a perfect score just for existing! But Len and Bruno agreed Zendaya needs to pick up her chin and work on her top line.
I realized during Val's incredible spin sequence at the "flamenco beginning" of the dance that I would gladly watch a reality show called Val Eats Breakfast Intensely, especially if the interstitials were captivating shots of him spinning as a matador -- or performing the splits with Jacoby, as we'd see later during the jive dance-off. Val's intensity carried through to the selection process for the dance-off, when he indirectly criticized Mark and Aly (for choosing to dance against Andy) by announcing to Tom and the crowd, "Let's pick on somebody our own size."
Zendaya made the bold decision to wear white sneakers with a red fringed dress for the jive dance-off, which was probably the best move for safety but a bit rude to fringe in general. Show some respect, child! Meanwhile, Val was just happy to not have to do the rumba this week. He seems to think that as soon as he does the bedroom dance with a 16-year-old, he'll be arrested on the spot. Of course, the citation will not even count, because it will have been issued by Lift Policewoman Inaba.
Jacoby Jones and Karina Smirnoff: 27/30 Dude! You can't just NOT SHOW UP one day. Rude! I love how Jacoby didn't even make up an excuse for blowing Karina off. I bet she'd have liked to schedule a massage and "take a day in ice" too if she'd at least had some advance warning! If D.L. Hughley had been on the other line of that cell phone call on Week 1 we wouldn't have even seen him dance in the premiere.
NEXT: 'It's like you could fart the salsa.'