Now to the dance floor ...
Amy Purdy and Derek Hough: 30/30 Combining an Argetine tango and a cha cha, Amy and Derek's final routine was potentially one of my favorites they've ever done. I'm a sucker for both of those dance styles, so there was almost no way to anger me with this one. Plus it's Derek, so you knew the choreography would be great.
I took almost zero notes on this one because I was just enjoying the moment. Len thought Amy was a fantastic dancer, and Bruno thought her dancing was up there with some of the best. Carrie Ann wanted to write a "Dear Amy" novel, but after Tom told her there was no time for that, she called the routine "uplifting."
[Insert "unscripted" farewell to DWTS showrunner Conrad Green.]
Candace Cameron Bure and Mark Ballas: 27/30 Mark and Candace combined the samba and quickstep in a routine that was fine. At this point, I was done watching Candace do that little crab dance/fast foot shuffle in every dance because it was one of the moves she could handle. The upside? Candace was just as done with dancing as I was with watching her, if not more so.
Honestly, somebody stick a fork in her, because she was DONE. I half expected her to say adios and march right off the floor forever after her routine, which I have to admit, would've been highly entertaining.
Bruno and Carrie Ann both called her adorable, and Len avoided actual criticism by talking about how much the fans love her.
OK, what was Candace's comment about Mark being the best partner ever? My only thought: "I'm sure her husband appreciates that." OK, I know she was talking about dance, but still, you know her husband had the thought.
Meryl Davis and Maksim Chmerkovskiy: 30/30 With the fox trot and cha cha, Meryl and her proud teacher rocked the dance floor one last time. But first, I have to mention how nervous he looked just before the routine started. He so didn't want to mess things up right at the finish line, and in that moment, he was so very human and lovable.
Look, this routine had sexy moments, it had stripping, and more than anything, it had fun. The two of them let loose and had a blast out there, smiling their way through their final dance, somehow still nailing every step. Could they be any cuter? Brandy didn't think so. Girl, you've got to stop crying at some point.
Carrie Ann stated that the "best part of season was you two" and their artistry and passion. Len then took the moment to announce that this might be his last season! It clearly caught Tom off-guard, which I found a little hilarious -- look at Len stealing the show! But at least he did say that he couldn't wish for better dance to finish up with. And Bruno, well, he thought "watching you two is like when you discover the passion and the excitement of your first love: dance."
And this is where my roommate once again, during a commercial break, said, "I can't believe he said he wanted to ravage her and they left it in!"
Going into the final results, here were the dancers' total scores:
And combined with votes, those scores put Candace in third. Well done, America!
Waiting to hear the final news, Maks had tears in his eyes. Tears! Good thing he won! Maks and Meryl are taking home the MirrorBall Trophy -- hopefully together to their home that will soon be filled with children and happiness! As Maks put it, "It's just plastic, but it means so much." And as to why he didn't win before season 18? Because it was supposed to happen with Meryl, obviously. Much like the rest of his life is supposed to happen with Meryl. My only question is: Can we watch it? (But also, not really, because I don't want reality television to tear them apart like it did Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson. I care about them way too much. I'll stop now.)
I was so happy with these results, I can't even handle myself right now. Plus, did you hear Maks say "ravage"?!
What did you think of the finale? And now that we know who gets the MirrorBall trophy, who gets the MirrorBall guy?
In all seriousness, thank you all for taking this journey with me. I appreciate you guys accepting me and all my craziness, and I look forward to more dance-filled nights together. Until then!