Dancing With the Stars recap: Flail-ure to Launch

Dance trio time! The six couples take on the season 17 quarterfinals; Tony Dovolani does a scarily great Bruno impression
Ep. 09 | Aired Nov 11, 2013

BIZARRO JUDGES Leah, Henry, and Tony get snooty.

ABC

Oh hell to the no! I am NOT so excited about this: Elizabeth Berkley Lauren and Val Chmerkovskiy waltzed away from the ballroom in tears following Week 9's abrupt elimination. (Well, she cried. He glistened.)

Dancing With the Stars has always been a popularity contest. But now that there's only one show per week, there's so much more potential for a huge disconnect between how great the contestants perform in the here-and-now vs. how well voters liked them seven days ago. Elizabeth and Val scored a perfect 30 in tonight's salsa trio thanks to a finely chiseled combo platter of their own prowess and Gleb's abs -- then got eliminated five minutes later. It just makes the show look crazy. (And it was already nuts to begin with!)

Still, lots to love tonight, namely an epic jive trio spoofing the Dancing With the Stars judges. Seriously: Tony-oli for the win, forever and ever, amen.

Will the judges please reveal their scores? Carrie Ann Inahhhhh-ber!

Corbin Bleu and Karina Smirnoff: 28/30 waltz + 30/30 jazz trio = 58/60 After their overblown Game of Thrones-inspired Viennese waltz earned them their lowest score of the season, Corbin and Karina needed to cater specifically to DANCMSTR Len Goodman's refined palate for the slow waltz, his favorite ballroom standard. It worked, of course, because these are both professional dancers. Karina's sparkly rope necklace was almost as enchanting as her frothy white gown, which moved so beautifully along the floor, as if the pair were gently rolling along with an ebbing wave at low tide. #Sparklebarf

Carrie Ann invented two mistakes out of thin air to falsely level the playing field. Len wanted more rise and fall. Tom smelled a Bruno 10, and Tom was RIGHT! It almost makes me gag to think of all the aromas Tom has sniffed out while standing next to over-exerted sweaters throughout the years. Gag with delight!

Corbin took the lead in their Bob Fosse-inspired jazz trio with Witney Carson, who continues to remind me of a pig in dirt whenever she dances. (Please don't get me wrong; the girl is capital-g Gorgeous. I'm talking about her exuberance!) The threesome overcame some choreographic power struggles (I wasn't buying any of that, either -- tricky editing) to achieve what Carrie Ann called possibly the greatest dance she's seen in all 17 seasons. Good God, lady! Simmer down. I think not.

NEXT: Shirtless Eastern Europeans make the best salsa

Latest Videos in TV

Advertisement