Dancing With the Stars recap: Dance Mom Said Knock You Out

Dance Moms' Abby Lee Miller joins the judges' panel for the first (and probably last) time as the show introduces the Celebrity Dance Duels
Ep. 08 | Aired May 5, 2014

Candace Cameron Bure and Mark Ballas: 36/40 Candace's fox trot was, for lack of a better word, fun. I liked how the routine started with more huge props. She and Mark sat on a couch and fought over the remote, which was cute and likable, and I thought it was her best opening yet. At times, I felt like the music was "Rhythm for Dummies" or something, but at least Candace had a little more personality.

Carrie Ann thought Candace had finally found her footing, and Len called it a joyful dance. Abby talked about herself before making a difficult-to-understand comment about the choreography itself -- not helpful! -- before Bruno talked about the vivacity of the routine. He thought Candace could've extended more, but what else is new?

You know what was new? Could Charlie be the new Tom?! Food for thought!

James Maslow and Peta Murgatroyd: 36/40 As soon as I saw that James was doing the waltz, I was worried. But as soon as I saw his Big Time Rush members come visit him, all my worries floated away! As the nonexistent age-old saying goes: There's nothing like three a little bro-time to prep you for a waltz!

Despite the enormous pink trees on stage, I somehow was able to focus on the dance. James felt a little robotic to me. An actual sentence form my notes: "Not sure what's happening with his face." Also, "heavy feet."

Len liked the free-flowing movement, but did not appreciate how when James got into hold, he didn't straighten his legs and therefore pushed his butt out. I sympathized with James here, because who doesn't try to accentuate their booty on national TV, am I right? But the judges weren't having it … except for Abby who was quite literally drooling all over James. She asked him to look at her the way he looked at Peta before she volunteered to fix his booty posture. Sorry scary lady, Peta's got that one handled.

Once again, Abby's score was obviously dictated by her feelings for the dancers, because that routine did not deserve a 10. Fact.

Amy Purdy and Derek Hough: 40/40 Despite that one rib that kept popping out of place, Amy was ready to tango, literally. And this is where I give Derek a shout-out for being the best choreographer on this show. I loved this routine. I even loved the use of the stool, and you all know how much I hate props. I thought the small stage made it feel more intimate and made the movement more difficult and captivating. The kicks were great, and despite the one mishap with the stool, this routine was perfection for me.

Abby praised Derek for being amazing, before using Amy to threaten her own students -- remind me never to allow my child to dance for her -- before Bruno talked about Amy's power and precision. Carrie Ann thought it was incredible, and Len, well, if he was dreaming, he didn't want Tom to wake him up.

(Sidenote: I really hope Tom doesn't call anyone a "stool person," because people can only take so much, you know?)

Also, can we give a mirror ball trophy to that little girl from Abby's company that said she thought Abby "would be ruder." That's one brave little girl considering she has dance rehearsal tomorrow. I like her!

NEXT: Introducing the Celebrity Dance Duel (to the death!)

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