Dancing With the Stars season finale recap: May the Sparkliest Teeth Win

One of three deserving 'All-Stars' couples earns the chance to lug around a bigger 'n' better hardened knob of glitter than ever
Ep. 19 | Aired Nov 27, 2012

HEAVY STUFF Tony's shirt threatens to burst open as he and Maks endure the weight of the situation together.


Meanwhile, Joey Fatone time-traveled back to 1987, where he met Past Him. Young Joey met Current Joey and was thoroughly not impressed. "What's a cha cha?" wondered the kid helplessly as the fat one zoomed away. PSYCH, though. That kid wasn't Joey at all! They'd tricked us. He was a tiny ballroom dancer about to get his freak on with Joey Fatone in a Back to the Future-themed cha cha. This dance had everything: lifts, flicks, kicks, creepy/awesomeness, a mini-Kym who excelled at self-aware over-the-top facial expressions, and a DeLorean that was being eaten alive by the ballroom's resident smoke monster. I give it a 10. "Tehhhhhhhhhhn!"

You know, I may miss our old friend Smokey most of all during the hiatus. Well, him and the wind machine. Those two work so hard to manage 50 percent of Planet Mirrorballus' most frequently occurring elements: Gems, Wind, Smoke, and Sweat. I was going to add Spray Tan, but I wonder if -- somehow, considering the ever-fluctuating conditions in the Glitter Galaxy -- Spray Tan ends up encompassing all four?!

That's the most profound thing I've ever written, so I may as well stop, collect my shimmery end-of-the-season tears in the multi-faceted chalice I drink from while hidden gem hunting, and bid you DANCMSTRs farewell until March.

Is it possible? A 16th season?! Just kidding; I meant is it possible we can survive that long. I just don't know.

Thank you as always for coming back to read these insanity pellets/recaps. I'll see you back here soon enough following a long winter's nap. Is anyone watching Idol in January? I'll be all over that, too, swearing at my TV the whole time re: how unfair it is that I just can't reach in and eat the cotton candy off Nicki Minaj's head. Because it shouldn't just sit there and keep existing. Ugh. A travesty.

You bring the red wine, I'll bring the rhinestones. Exact cave location TBA. Let the hibernation begin!

Fringe Fairy

HIDDEN GEM CITY (forever the name of my wireless network)

Tony's spellbinding smile and any normal person's conception of a "Super-Sized Freestyle" encourage you to appraise EW.com's Hidden Gems of the 'All-Stars' finals!

Annie Barrett's 'DWTS' Facebook page

Read more:
'DWTS': The 12 Torsos of Thanksgiving!
Performance finale recap: Studding for Finals
All 'DWTS' Hidden Gems of the Week
Tristan MacManus tours the 'DWTS' rehearsal space -- EXCLUSIVE VIDEO

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