Gilles Marini and Peta Murgatroyd: 28.5/30 plus 5 (6th place) in the swing dance marathon = 33/40 Will Len's "You were nipping around South America" comment after Gilles' Argentine tango/samba fusion be his sexiest comment of the season? How tragic! I really liked Gilles' sort of self-aware, how-ridiculous-is-this humor as he conducted the orchestra and took a deep bow at the top of Beethoven's Fifth, but during the dance I thought he became more aggressive in his sheer (not shirted, not this time) desire to succeed at all costs and it was once again distracting. That's not to say the couple didn't look incredibly hot with their matching "black belts" needlessly holding together the backs of their costumes. At one point Gilles lost his tie and flung it into the corner…but it didn't matter because his shirt was about to be ripped open anyway!
Carrie Ann was still ripping on Gilles' lack of arm extensions. "Okay, 'arm thingies.' That's helpful," quipped Tom.
Apolo Anton Ohno and Karina Smirnoff: 27/30 plus 6 (5th place) in the s.d.m. = 33/40 Can Apolo just never wear a shirt again? Great, thanks. Halfway through their cha cha/paso doble fusion, the ballroom's very own Gold Medal Ribbon blissfully ditched the upper half of his outfit to reveal a SMOKIN' BOD (literally it was touched by an angel and the angel was the smoke monster) along with a ferocious "I gotta be me!" roar. It's a shame these two performed first because I think this fusion deserved a higher placement overall and maybe the judges were just holding back. (Hard to believe triple 9s would qualify as holding back, but you know how it goes.) Apolo had some really crazy moves in here, like the slide into a split, a breakdance-y snap from the floor to stand up again, and an incredibly athletic leap that was like the shirtless speed skater's version of an aerial cartwheel. Good stuff from Apolo.
Marathon Mindbender: Was Karina smushing Apolo's face into her abs equivalent to or greater than Derek's patented crotch-bob move? Discuss.
Kirstie Alley and Maksim Chmerkovskiy: 24/30 samba/quickstep plus 4 (last place) in the s.d.m. = 28/40 Kirstie and Maks focused more on Sandy than on samba this week, which made for a lovely charity segment but not such a hot dance fusion. You pick and choose your battles. I say we let the diaperless babies on the east coast have this one. $15 million was raised on ABC's Day of Giving, Tom said. Incredible.
Sadly, this is another non-hidden gems week, due to election madness and lack of a results show recap. Look for a special guided tour of the DWTS rehearsal studios from Our Pro and long-lost love Tristan MacManus on EW.com this week as a consolation gem. Plus, I'll be spearheading a special "Screen Gems of the Election" roundup Tuesday night, so look for that (and participate!) over on PopWatch. Politics, woooooot! Len can't vote!
Who were your favorite fusion artists tonight?
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