Dancing With the Stars recap: Fusion Frenzy

Don't forget to vote! Next week, that is. In the meantime, let's fuuuuuuuse!
Ep. 13 | Aired Nov 5, 2012

PARTIAL NUDITY FOR PRESIDENT Apolo Anton Oh, yes!

ABC

It's FUUUUUUUSION night! The seven remaining couples served up special combo platters of two unrelated dances during the Week 7 performance show. NO results show and NO elimination this week. We'll see a double elimination next Tuesday and the Tuesday after that. Yikes!

I wouldn't vote for a Fusion Dances theme week every season, but it was a cool way to challenge the All-Stars, who haven't nearly achieved the Midseason Meltdowns quota to which we're accustomed. These routines, plus the swing dance marathon (and more importantly Tom's golf announcer voice), fun little election spoofs, and an emphasis on Hurricane Sandy relief as part of ABC's Day of Giving all made this a well-rounded Monday.

Thank God for pyrotechnics and ridiculous props, though. Because at the end of the day, isn't a mirrorball staff exploding into flames what Dancing With the Stars is all about?

Well, that and giving. Text 90999 to donate $10 to Hurricane Sandy relief.

I might have been able to live without Maks' firecrotch....

....but really, why should I?

I loved the smear campaign ads thrown in before commercial breaks to make up for zero Tuesday-night ridiculata this week -- especially those from the Committee for Actors Not Athletes -- and Kirstie's Stars With More Than 5% Body Fat rant against Gilles and Kelly, season 15's most prominent nudes.

Will the judges please reveal their scores? Carrie Ann Inahhhhhh-ber!

Melissa Rycroft and Tony Dovolani: 29 out of possible 30 plus 10 out of possible 10 in the swing dance marathon = 39/40 That's a mouthful! There's gotta be a better way to convey these numbers -- but if you just imagine this numeric/verbal nonsense emanating from the sparkle-toothed grins of both Tony and Melissa, maybe it'll go down easier. This couple is having SO. MUCH. FUN! I'll admit I wasn't watching them much during the swing dance marathon they ended up winning, but during their tango/cha cha fusion I was completely riveted and dug their perfectly in sync, non-desperate energy. This dance had everything: a sequined collar on a man, the artful use of smoke during a costume change, pleather knee-high stockings masquerading as boots, and halter-top boob fringe. (A DWTS first? If not a first, then one of a relative few.)

I'm loving Tony and Melissa. And yeah, his name is listed first because come on. How cool would it be if Tony's first Coveted Mirrorball Trophy was for the freaking All-Stars season?

NEXT: Len can't vote, but he's voting for Shawn and Mark

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