Dancing With the Stars recap: Livin' La Vida Shirtless

Latin Night means more dances, more injuries, and fewer clothes; plus, one couple goes home
Ep. 07 | Aired Apr 28, 2014

NeNe Leakes and Tony Dovolani: 31/40 In their grown sexy -- Catherine Lowe made it a thing! -- Argentine tango, NeNe was bringing out her alter ego, NayNay, albeit mostly to talk and walk and shimmy. The opening of the routine was great, but things got a little rough during the Tony-attempted-to-drag-NeNe-across-the-floor part. And if I'm being honest, I thought I was watching the entire dance in slow motion. Newsflash: Unless this is Baywatch, slow-motion should have nothing to do with it. #respect

The judges gave NeNe more of the same: She needs more technique but always brings the fun! But keeping focused on what matters: Tony undid his pants for their visit to Erin, because even I could tell they were a bit too tight. They almost made watching him dance shirtless unenjoyable. I said almost.

News! After her routine, Amy hurt her shoulder, so Erin went back to harass talk to her. Amy said she had gotten through the routine fine, but that afterward, she had turned her heard and heard something crack. Now, it was painful and hard to breathe. "Oh that sucks, Amy. Let's make you talk about it some more."

Okay, I know Erin was doing her job -- this isn't about her. I always hate situations like this. The takeaway was this: For Amy's team dance, they'd have to be judged on their dress rehearsal footage. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming!

Charlie White and Sharna Burgess: 36/40  Charlie wanted a perfect score, and he wanted it now! The adorable Olympian was handed the paso double this week, which is honestly one of my favorite dances. But the dance itself didn't matter as much as getting some 10's! I love that Charlie went to Meryl to talk about how she got her scores, because it reminds us that these two are freakin' gold medalists and also, adorable friends.

During the dance, my notes were pretty straightforward: "Intense! Sharna is amazing! Stripping!" What can I say? I'm deep. But in all honestly, I loved Charlie's enthusiasm, but he was a little bit like a kid who'd just eaten one too many of those giant Pixy Stix I used to get at the local pool. He needed to reel it in a bit, and the judges picked up on it. Len said it wasn't special enough to merit a 10, and Bruno mentioned his loss of steadiness. Carrie Ann needed sharper edges, and Ricky didn't say anything of use. But I do love how much Meryl and Maks support Charlie and Sharna. This foursome. Ugh, I can't.

Life question of the day: What would you rather have: A 10 from Ricky Martin or a high five on the chest from Maks? I won't answer, because, you know, professionalism. (But my answer rhymes with best nap.)

Candace Cameron Bure and Mark Ballas: 35/40 After meeting with a sports psychologist about her fear of live performances, Candace was ready for an Argentine tango. My only two notes on this dance were: Lifts on lifts on lifts! And surprisingly, I was impressed with Candace's footwork. One slip and she could've prevented Mark from having kids, but she didn't. And she looked good doing it. Her face could still use some work, but who looks at anyone's face, anymore? It's 2014. Unless it's a selfie, I don't care.

Carrie Ann thought her lines were crisp, but she did realize that Candace forgot two pieces of choreography -- Carrie Ann's boo night continued! Bruno liked her legs, Ricky liked her lines, and Len thought she could've smoldered a bit more, but he still thought it was hot. My advice? Smolder like this, and you'll be golden next week, Candace. Also, important, life-changing tip from her psychologist: Breathe!

Thank goodness she told me, because I almost forgot ...

NEXT: Team Dances (but really Maks and Meryl)

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