If you're a fan of Nashville, you know that its season 1 finale had just about every kind of cliffhanger imaginable. Well, this hour of Dallas topped its creativity with a poked diaphragm, a drug overdose during an adulterous threesome, potential alcohol poisoning, and a fire that could have been caused by at least two people that now threatens three lives. Let's dig in.
We opened with Elena freaking out about Drew to Nicolas, who wanted her to trust him to keep her brother safe. Reluctantly, she agreed. The next morning, John Ross was busy going over plans for an addition to Southfork when Bobby told him that he'd build a proper master suite for Pamela -- which was a slippery slope to bringing all of Southfork down (foreshadowing!) -- over his dead body. While following a trail of rose petals out to meet John Ross for her surprise, Pamela got one all right: She checked her phone and saw the video of him and Emma. Cue the credits!
Christopher and his bloody knuckles were late to rise, but at least he sleeps shirtless. And shaves shirtless. The facial hair is gone. He drove out to see Heather, who likes dimples, with some hot chocolate and an offer for them to move in together. She was right to tell him to slow down and think about whether this is what he really wants because she can't have him change his mind when her son is involved. Speaking of Michael, Heather got a call that Bo had taken him from school. Off she and Christopher drove.
John Ross couldn't find Pamela, but Bum called him to say he'd uncovered some info. on Candy. Drew found his mother at the market and said a dramatic goodbye. After Sue Ellen raved about her sober coach to Ann, they saw water running out of the bathroom door. They discovered Pamela sitting on the floor, fully clothed, with the tub running over. She was comatose for a moment, but then she showed them the video on her phone. You knew she was going to explode in anger when she found out they've known about the affair. And she did. "It's over" is not comforting, people.
Sue Ellen was fantasizing about filling an empty bourbon decanter and wanted to leave Southfork, but Ann wouldn't let her self-destruct. They told Bobby what was happening and he made this all about Ann keeping secrets from him again. He told her to kick Emma out. That's a bit of a double standard there, even if he thinks she's the one who sent the video. But then again, John Ross does have a right to be on Southfork and Emma doesn't.
NEXT: Judith Light is awesome