Dallas recap: The Family That Blackmails Together...

Bobby will always protect Southfork, and Christopher thinks John Ross is even worse than J.R.
Ep. 05 | Aired Mar 24, 2014

Skip Bolen/TNT

Cliff called Pamela and told her that he didn't kill J.R. She's tired of watching John Ross flirt with his secretary, so perhaps she'll start considering he's telling the truth. Not that we'd know since she wasn't seen again in the episode. Meanwhile, Christopher and Heather were at the bar having that drink when she got an emergency text and admitted she has a kid.

Bobby and Sue Ellen had rushed off to Austin because Stanley was meeting with the governor to discuss how the governor could help him silence John Ross from telling everyone that he likes to have sex with female prostitutes dressed in dog costumes -- well done, Steven Weber, for keeping a straight face. In exchange, Stanley's family would fund his 2016 presidential campaign by funneling the money through the accounting firm "just like last time." For a second, I wondered if they'd poisoned that bourbon we were getting a close-up of, but no. "A bug in a bourbon cork. I think J.R. would see the humor in that," Bobby said. Nice. "The family that blackmails together, stays together," Sue Ellen said. They got the governor on conspiracy and illegal campaign contributions.

Surprise! Heather's kid is with her ex-husband, the a--hole rancher Bo. He needed to drop the boy off so he could work late for John Ross. Christopher and Bo had words, then Christopher played (fake?) Transformers with Heather's kid, so you know things are getting serious there.

Emma met her pissed off grandmother at a bar and offered Judith part of what Harris had on her -- ledgers and a client list for her brothel side business -- if she were to sign the lease giving Ewing Global those ships. Grandma said her girls have power over the men they're with, unlike whores like Emma who give something for nothing. "John Ross degrades you. If you think that's love, then you are a worthless creature," Judith said. It was tough love, really. She begged Emma not to let John Ross manipulate her.

I love that the show is embracing Judith's boot and cane. Harris had to smile at the sound of them at 3 a.m.. "The witching hour," he said. "I would turn you into a newt if I could," she quipped. She told him about Emma's leverage and encouraged him to get John Ross' secretary to make him drop his pants already so they could split John Ross and Emma up. Judith also wants Emma to come back home to piss off Ann.

NEXT PAGE: Just keep scheming

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