Between the Lesser Prairie Chicken defense, Emma's over-the-top pool lounging, and the facial expression Judith Ryland makes when a drink has bite, this was another delightfully sudsy episode. Lather up.
We opened with Bobby and Ann being driven back to their abandoned car. The walk to their vehicle was an excuse for us to admire how good Brenda Strong looks in tight pants and boots. Once seated inside, Ann wondered if it was safe for Emma to ride alone on Southfork. Bobby said he'd beef up security and vowed that both Emma and Ann would always be safe there. (Famous last words? Read what Patrick Duffy had to say about that.)
At home, John Ross was murdering some pancakes, which he conveniently eats sans syrup and avec whipped cream. He was spraying some of the latter on Pamela's cleavage and licking it off when Emma came passing through the kitchen on her way to the pool. When Pamela turned her back again, Emma flashed John Ross a look at her hot red cutout swimsuit from beneath her more modest coverup. Sue Ellen, it turns out, was lurking nearby and presumably saw the full show. Cue the opening credits!
Bobby and a cowboy named Nate had just finished riding Southfork's perimeter to make sure it was secure -- Bobby wants more muscle at the gates and all ranch hands to ride armed -- when Nate got the call that there was a disturbance. John Ross's plans to frack haven't gone over well. There had been vandalism with fun phrases like, "Drill this," "Greedy pricks," and the obvious winner, "Go Frack Yourself." Bobby and Nate rode up and found John Ross in a fistfight with Bo. Bobby made Nate hold up on playing referee for a minute so John Ross would learn his lesson -- ha! -- then Bobby separated the boys. He assured the hands he'd stop John Ross just like he'd stopped J.R., and he told John Ross this is what you get when you threaten to take away a man's livelihood.
Back at the house, Sue Ellen was distracted doing the seating chart for John Ross and Pamela's reception, so she told Ann her concerns about Emma and John Ross. Since Sue Ellen was right about Emma's drug use, Ann handled it rather well. Slightly more confrontational: Christopher's sitdown with Cliff Barnes in his Mexican prison. There was a lot of talking when really, I just wanted to enjoy Christopher's beard again. Oh, and the way his sunglasses stayed perfectly positioned on his shirt even when he got angry. Christopher left the jail, and a little kid snagged his wallet. I assumed Nicolas was behind that. I was wrong.
Nicolas, meanwhile, was busy offering Rhonda $25,000 if she were to come forward and tell the truth that the Ewings bribed her to implicate Cliff Barnes in J.R.'s murder. Her bank account shows that she deposited $20,000 right after she moved back to the States. He told her to accept good luck when it comes around because it likely won't be back, and then he gave her his card to call him when she's ready (assuming it's before the end of the next day because this show moves quickly).
Ann caught Emma suggestively caressing her legs by the pool as John Ross walked by. She asked Emma to dress more conservatively around him. She also suggested she maybe stick close to home. But Emma is 22 and no one controls her, she snapped. That's right -- if she wants to walk around the pool in chunky shoes, we must let her. And if she wants to get herself killed sometime later this season, we must accept that. Fuming from being scolded, Emma happily accepted Pamela's offer to go help her shop for her honeymoon.
NEXT PAGE: Everyone's lunching