Troy and Abed found Todd in basket weaving class, exactly the kind of course you’d expect him to take. But as he was about to be hauled into the bio lab for trial—after all, an eye-witness pinky-sweared he was on the scene at the time of the crime, not to mention he had motive—his legal counsel showed up: Lt. Col. Archwood, who was sleeping on Todd’s couch for the weekend. He asked the very legitimate question, “Who honors the pinky swear of a degenerate over the word of a decorated soldier?” Shocker, the Dean was inclined to defer to the man in uniform. But he was even more turned on by Professor Kane’s insistence that this trial play out because “A man’s gotta have a code.” You live on, Omar Little. You live on.
The trial began, but now Jeff was worried that they didn’t have enough evidence to present. Their peers in bio class—their makeshift jury—hated their guts, so they’d need an airtight case. Annie was taken aback. “It’s the day of the case, and now you find your softness?” she threw back at Jeff. “When the going gets tough, Winger gets nervous, huh?”
Todd took the stand to defend himself against the accusations levied by Starburns, the “Holocaust-denying, 9/11 pedophile.” When Lt. Col. Archwood objected to the fact that Annie was clearly “ramping up to something,” Prof. Kane countered with Line of the Night #2: “Objection, I hate the both of you.” Annie pointed out that Todd had an absolutely perfect record except for one yam that wouldn’t grow. That must have pissed him right off. Is that why we beats his wife? “Withdrawn.” Is that why he drinks and pops pills? “Withdrawn.” Is he a virgin? “Withdrawn.” Todd, should have reiterated, “Offense taken! Offense taken.” But instead he broke down and said he did drop the yam, but only because the jar burned his hand. Victory! Annie began her own variant on Victor Cruz’ touchdown salsa (which somebody needs to turn into a .Gif, stat). The funny thing about watching Annie deliver her argument here was the realization that if Alison Brie had been acting 20 years ago she would undoubtedly have been hired to play the ADA under Ben Stone or Jack McCoy.
NEXT: Only one thing could interrupt a celebratory Scotch. Yes, death.