'The Celebrity Apprentice' recap: Rod Blagojevich is Some Sort of Balloon-Obsessed Freakazoid

But forget about all that. Hey, who wants a cupcake that has been coughed on repeatedly? Don't worry — those are loogies of love! A Team Tenacity special topping, if you will: 3 parts phlegm, 2 parts mucus, and 1 part good ol' fashioned saliva. As great and organized and energetic as Maria was as Project manager, I don't know what she was thinking putting a hacking Sharon Osbourne on food duty. Unless the new slogan she came up with was ''Kodak. Giving you memories — and a bronchial infection — to last a lifetime.'' But Tenacity had other problems to worry about, like their power, which kept cutting in and out. And if that wasn't enough, there was also...a SECRET SHOPPER! That sassy little minx Lauren was on the scene and just waiting drop SECRET SHOPPER bombs all over the ladies' best laid plains. You can't stop Lauren, you can only hope to contain the damage inflicted by her nefarious scheme. And sure enough, she saddled right up to a lady complaining about waiting 20 minutes for her pictures. DAMN YOU, SECRET SHOPPER!

When all was said and done, it was off to the Boardroom, and while this is supposed to be the most dramatic portion of any Celebrity Apprentice episode, I'm not gonna comment too much on it since it was so painfully obvious that Sinbad was going home. Other than finding out that Cyndi ''was the hooker'' during her challenge, there were no surprises. The guys lost, and Sinbad made his last idiotic decision of the task by bringing in Bret and Blago to the boardroom with him: idiotic in that the first Celebrity Apprentice eliminations are almost always based on your level of celebrity rather than how good you actually are during the task. No way was Trump going to fire Cyndi Lauper last week, and no way was she going to get rid of Bret or Blago this time. It didn't really matter, though, because when it came toCelebrity Apprentice, this guy just went from Sinbad to Sinworse. Hey, at least he got a truly awkward peace-out sign back from Amanda the receptionist before he left.

Honestly, the most entertaining thing about the final Boardroom was watching Sharon Osbourne's commentary from back in the suite, asking about Blago, ''Do you think his eyes are too close together?'' and saying that Goldberg had a ''little d---.'' Now that's just rude...and exactly the reason we all loveCelebrity Apprentice. Keep it coming, Sharon! And I'll see you all next week after another exciting edition. Until then: Cluck, cluck...splash!

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