The Carrie Diaries recap: Sex, Lies, and a Bootleg Videotape

Carrie steps it up to stave off Donna LaDonna's Sebastian seduction, but it's Carrie's purse that got the most play
Ep. 02 | Aired Jan 21, 2013

BLONDE ATTRITION Donna LaDonna be damned, the tantalizing teen courtship Carrie-d on with late-night phone calls, lusty body language, and, of course, lots of leaning.

Craig Blankenhorn/The CW

Carrie was at work when Larissa, who wanted to use Carrie's purse as the centerpiece of an Interview style spread, called from DUMBO to say the shoot had been moved to that day. So Carrie put her internship at risk and skedaddled off to Brooklyn to secure 15 minutes of fame for her DIY accessory. Glad those priorities are straight, girl! Actually, though, I'm not being that sarcastic -- her internship (not to mention her hard-up, personal phone call-hating boss) seriously sucks. If I were given two women as role models -- one a hard-up harpy with a soul-crushing job, another a kleptomaniac with a fabulous accent and access to safari animals, I'd choose Larissa's every time too.

So Carrie delivered her purse to the shoot and spent a few minutes as the photo shoot's de facto zebra wrangler (don't ask) before realizing she needed to head back. Making perhaps her most questionable choice of the night, she left her one-of-a-kind purse in the hands of an unrepentant thief -- not to mention near the mouths of a couple of camels from Radio City Music Hall. Regardless, Larissa gave her a token of good faith in the form of a one-off Dior scarf. As she swathed her protege in expensive silk, she also gave her a life tip: "Fake it 'til you make it." Though it sounded more like a suggestion to take up compulsive lying, to me, Carrie is less cynical and vaguely interpreted the advice to be more self-confident. Either way, both the scarf and the pep talk came in handy when Carrie eluded trouble from her boss with a dose of moxy and by handing over the scarf. She claimed she'd found it in the bargain bin and that she thought her boss would look great in it on her date that night. The redemptive power of fashion at work, folks.

Back at school, Mouse had another run-in with Sebastian and DLaD, who was so smug that even Mouse got riled up enough to tell Carrie to make an immediate play for Sebastian. To do so, Carrie flaked on a pool date with Dorrit, who stormed home. Mr. Bradshaw headed to the pool to investigate and found Carrie and Sebastian getting wet and wild. Carrie was certain she'd be grounded forever, but Sebastian seemed to gain Mr. B's respect when he introduced himself and demonstrated a firm handshake. Seemed being the key word. That night, Mr. B told Carrie she couldn't see Sebastian  because of some shady back story between himself and Sebastian's dad that remains unclear. Carrie obeyed for about 12 minutes before lover boy came a-knockin'. She loaded up a double-barrel lie in order to keep both men in her life happy short-term, but it will inevitably blow up in her face -- I'm guessing some time next week.

Speaking of ill-formed plans, Walt saw Carrie's growing chutzpah and decided it was time to suck it up and do it with Maggie. But instead of waiting by the phone, she was cruising for police cruisers -- or, more accurately, a certain six-packed young deputy driving the cruiser. After an emotionally unfulfilling backseat hook-up, she returned home to find Walt, who came clean that he didn't love her "in that way." It wasn't a grand, glorious coming out by any means, but it was pretty much the only moment of tempered honesty in the episode, so... good?

The ep ended as Dorrit revealed to Carrie and Mouse that she's even sketchier than we thought (she gets stoned and shoots bootleg movies in the cinema!). Maggie showed up in tears, and the four of them sat around a stack of PB&J crackers, the high school equivalent of SatC's coffee shop. And Mouse's revealed her devirginator had come crawling back after he realized he couldn't get sex from college girls. That last part is my cynical assumption, of course. Regardless, stay strong, Mouse! (Related note: I would like to amend Tim's theory from last week, and suggest that Mouse is the Charlotte of the group. Agree or disagree?)

So, Carrie fans, did you think episode 2 was an improvement on the pilot? Or does it feel like this episode stalled the momentum? Is Sebastian worth all the rigmarole? Do you think Larissa would actually be better friends with Donna LaDonna? And what have we learned tonight? Lie, cheat, and be super sexually aggressive! Yep, this show is definitely set in the '80s...

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