The Tale of The Purloined Bed
Cara went out with the girls for a night in the city, but quickly ditched them to hang out with Tyler. They had a rather romantic little moment up on top of the hill. Tyler pointed towards the bright lights of Charleston. "Over there, there's hundreds of cops," said Tyler. "You get caught doin' somethin, you get busted. Over here, there's nothing but the wild frontier, the wind at your back, the ground beneath your feet, the occasional Shainstache, and the great wide open. Kiss me, Funny Face." They agreed to keep their flirtation a secret.
It was such a secret, in fact, that they couldn't even hook up in their own bed. Instead, they engaged in the aforementioned monkey sex on Anna's bed, leading to the aforementioned Greatest Moment of Television In 2013 So Far. Katie told Anna about the hook-up. Anna accusing asked Cara various questions with regards to said hook-up. Cara ran away. Then Anna yelled down at Tyler: "You guy's f---ed in my bed! How disrespectful is that!"
He looked up at Anna.
Then he looked at the camera.
Then he looked at Anna.
Then he ate some potato chips.
"Sorry," he said. "I mean it."
He ate another chip.
It seems to me that the kids of Buckwild are living in a world so post-lapsarian that's become pre-lapsarian -- which is to say, they're living a relatively happy Edenic existence. It seems like there are only two ways for the show to move forward from here.
1. They will continue to live a happy carefree life, and build a new utopia right there in Sissonville.
2. They will be consumed with jealousy and ambition, lose their collective innocence, and descend into a black pit of adult shame, forever remembering the old good days of the Dump Truck Pool Party.
Either way, I am intrigued. Fellow viewers, what did you think of the Buckwild premiere?
Follow Darren on Twitter: @DarrenFranich