In a long, drawn-out, high-drama, Brothers and Sisters-ly plot showcasing just how terrible the Walkers are at using modern technology in the form of "smartphones," the whole family suspected that Nora might be a lesbian. But it turned out she was just a florist! It was all Kitty's fault for having nothing better to do than pretend she was house-hunting, but really spending her whole day spying on her newly secretive mom. I loved how the "new gym" Nora made up to explain why she wasn't in her bed at 5 a.m. involved "one of those 14-day trials." So specific! Kitty was onto Nora right from the start, and then Nora didn't help matters by using language so cryptic and possibly sexual -- "You have needs. So do I! Sometimes you push me too hard..." -- that it could only mean she'd suddenly switched teams at 63. (This is not way out of line, people. Cybill Shepherd in The L Word, anyone? Or real people who do this, too?)
The gang endured another classic liquor-infused Walker emotional showdown of epic proportions -- only this time it wasn't around their dinner table! The line of designer underwear modeled on the sides of buildings by hot, hot Luc threw a swanky party, so the Walkers ventured out into public to monopolize the booze flow and decibel levels. After Kitty announced her private-investigator findings to her siblings, Justin immediately disapproved of his mom being gay. He's used to a more stringent "Don't ask, don't tell your nosy family why you're bringing crab soup to female 'clients'" policy, and wanted nothing to do with this. "Uncle Saul's not enough for you -- now you want mom?" he whined, taking the entire stressful situation out on Kevin. For his part, Kevin just wasn't buying it. "Anyone else. Even you," he told Kitty (and yes, Kitty totally would be a better lesbian than Nora), "but not mom." Scotty was extremely jazzed about the whole idea, but he's probably still trying to close the last of those hundreds of windows that popped up when he accidentally hit "slideshow" during a routine Google search of "senior citizen lesbians."
Finally Nora entered to set the record straight, but not before we were treated to a very funny shot of Sally Field checking out a female model. Wink, wink! She plopped down in front of her perplexed children, who simply didn't know who their mom was anymore, and continued to use mysterious language from the blooming garden of words available only to either women exploring their sexuality or civilians who have recently become florists. It was fun to watch the siblings' faces take each devastating punch as Sally Field callously threw them out. "I'm not interested in men whatsoever...I'm really enjoying myself...There's nothing wrong with a woman my age wanting to try something new. To be honest, things have been a little tight lately. I needed the money!"
"Oh my God, you think I'm GAY?!" Well, no, at that point they probably thought she was a prostitute. But no. "No! I'M NOT A LESBIAN. I'M A FLORIST!" she cried out as everyone gasped in relief. She just got a job at Zoe's Flowers. She's channeling her inner Ruth Fisher from Six Feet Under! Everything is going to be okay.
NEXT: A proposal regarding Luc's ab routines and the future of Brothers & Sisters.