Big Brother recap: Devtopia

Devin makes aggressive moves, and Brittany makes her case.
Ep. 07 | Aired Jul 9, 2014

CBS

No one knows how to tell Devin that he is completely insane. But they are trying. Devin has eight people in his alliance—half the house, just the right amount of people that they could all make it all the way to jury if they stick together. But they aren't sticking together. Cracks are forming because Devin is crazy. He demanded that Hayden come up to the HoH room and then demanded that Hayden hug him as if they were brothers from the same mother. "Just know that we love you, bro," said Devin, huggingly. "Just know that we're going to make sure cash is in your pocket." None of these words made any particular sense to Hayden–who, like his Weirdo Alliance colleagues, seems to be a person watching Big Brother who accidentally became a person playing Big Brother, and doesn't entirely understand why everyone around him is either a beautiful idiot or a beautiful dunce cap. But Hayden played along, and hugged Devin, and hugged Devin, and kept on hugging Devin for a long time. "Devin has lost his mind," said Hayden. That was one of the nicer things people said about Devin on Big Brother this week.

"He's the devil," said Pao-Pao. "I'm making a deal with the devil," said Brittany. Both in reference to Devin. Devin might look like the Rock, and he might play competitions like a veritable beast, but there is no doubt in anyone's mind inside of the Big Brother house that he is a time bomb ticking. Some members of the Bomb Squad wanted to take action. Zach Rance, Mini-Travolta, Serpico, and Christine all agreed: The man had gone mad with power. "We're backdooring Devin," said Zach Rance. "It's as simple as that."

Trouble was fomenting in the Bomb Squad alliance all over. Caleb has become shamelessly obsessed with Amber. He doesn't like how Devin treats her. Caleb was clear. He might protect his boys, but he protects his queen a lot more. Never mind whether or not his "queen" actually wants to be his queen; never mind the fact that his queen frankly thinks that Avengers would have been way better if they hadn't even tried to fit Hawkeye into the mix, and while she's on the subject, Gretel was the best part of Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters.

Caleb picked a fight with Devin. He told him: "Both of the girls are scared to death to even talk to you." He told him: "There are quite a few people who want Pao gone more than Brittany." Devin took all of this under advisement. By which I mean he flipped a couple of different lids. Devin ran upstairs and started preaching into the void. "Always got your back, bro," said Devin to no one. "Whatever, bro, you're a lovestruck puppy," he told no one. Then Devin started to walk angrily around the room. Then Devin started to destroy the room. EW is excited to share exclusive footage of the destruction:

Then Devin said the alliance was over—which would have been maybe the shortest life for the longest alliance ever. Devin is fascinating because he seems to be a tactical genius and an absolute muscle idiot all at the same time. It's like someone mashed together Ulysses S. Grant with Marijuana-Era Schwarzenegger, and I realize that a lot of people probably already hate him, but I am fully on board the Devin Crazy Train. He is not remotely likable, and he is only interesting.

Case in Point: Having built an exceptional and powerful alliance, Devin told his co-leader in that alliance: "There's no more alliance. We're done. The whole thing is done." And then Caleb told him: "You'll be going home next week." And then the next day–out of fear or just general loyalty to the man with muscles like basketballs–Caleb walked into Devin's HoH throne room and said that he was sorry. And then Caleb threw everyone else on the Bomb Squad under the bus, saying: "I wasn't one of those people who was talking about sending you home."

This forced an alliance meeting. Devin tried to be clear with everyone. He told them that he was going after Brittany for personal reasons, but also for political reasons. He told them that Pao-Pao threw that competition. He asked if anyone doubted his wisdom. The ladies were silent. The men were silent. Zach Rance spoke up. "Pao is by far the weakest character I've ever seen on Big Brother in my life," he said softly. "I like Brittany more, so I want Brittany to stay."

No one backed him up.

Devin looked at him the way that Caesar looked at Brutus right after Brutus stabbed him.

Zach tried to explain. He stayed behind when everyone else left. "Listen buddy," he said. "I said a lot of things. Did I mean any of them? Of course not! Zach Rance!" It was too late. Devin looked at him with suspicion, with darkness—with regret, most of all, for trusting a man who spells "Zack" the wrong way.

And so to the Veto Competition, which was themed around the galaxies and the planets. Appropriate, since Devin has muscles the size of planets and a head shaped like the fourth moon of Neptune. No one did particularly well in the competition, although Pao-Pao did particularly badly (is she the worst player ever?) and Brittany began what could be a championship run with this little chestnut: "I would've done better with a mimosa in me, I swear."

In the end, it was Devin who won the Veto Competition. And this is why we have to take Devin seriously. He is an insane person. He plays his game with a weird mixture of total honesty and complete dishonesty. He has an elaborate strategy, which he freely upends for no apparent reason—"Hey Christine, Person I Never Talk To, want to join my alliance?"—and he seems to spend his days figuring out ways to ruin his powerful alliance. And yet: He wins competitions. He held all the power in the house.

And here's why we should be paying attention to Brittany: She made a compelling case. She walked into Devin's HoH throne room and talked to a man she had openly disdained, and she told him why he should keep her around:

I hope that one of the parents win. We're not just changing our lives. We're changing the lives of our kids. We have to fight harder. He have a lot more emotions and stuff. Being in Big Brother? It's not worth me missing out on everything I just did. Graduations. Birthdays. Competitions. Baseball.

It was, quite frankly, one of the most effective groveling tactics I have ever seen. Maybe that sounds cynical; I only mean to say that it worked. Devin is insane, but he cares about his child; the idea of a single parent with three children resonated with him. Certainly, it resonated more than Zach Rance's in-your-face hard sell, which somehow made Devin more likely to throw Zach under the bus. At the veto ceremony, Devin gave a passionate speech about how he thought Brittany was a huge threat... but that he also couldn't keep her on the block, being a single mother. And so, Zach Rance got his wish, in the worst way possible: Brittany was safe, and he was the new man in the sniper scope.

And then Brittany said: "Can I say something really fast?"

TO BE CONTINUED.

(Probably with loud yelling and hurtful things said by all.)

Follow Darren on Twitter: @DarrenFranich

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